It’s easy to be on the Christian Wood hype train now that Wood has been unleashed following the Andre Drummond trade. He’s regularly putting up efficient, high-scoring performances that might even be introducing his name to casual fans. Okay, that’s probably not true, since most casuals couldn’t name a single player currently on the Pistons’ roster except for maybe Blake Griffin. They’re probably not taking notice of Wood. BUT THEY SHOULD BE.
I would like to remind people that I was on the Christian Wood hype train way before everybody else (other than, possibly, UNLV fans). Remember, I made a video for Wood while he was on the Hornets. The Hornets! He barely did anything there but when he did do something, I was right there, ready to make a highlight video detailing his on-court exploits. That video was lost in the disastrous DTB purge of February 2018 (I still try to avoid thinking about that too much because it gets me all sad), but I’m definitely re-uploading it so that when Wood gets his 18-million dollar per year contract, the fans of the team that signs him to that contract can see the humble beginnings of a man who would turn out to be a beast.
Since I am the conductor of the Christian Wood hype train, I could easily kick everybody off who hasn’t been a devotee as long as I have. But I am a benevolent conductor, and I want hype for Christian Wood to be spread across the world like a glorious, virulent pandemic that spreads through air particles. There are no breathing masks or hand sanitizing stations on this hype train, kids. You’re all gonna catch the hype one way or another.
Now the only thing left to do is to figure out how Carlos Delfino is going to greet Christian Wood into the Hall of the Thirty Point Scorers. Because you know that Wood scoring thirty is just a forgone conclusion at this point.