It’s pretty obvious that we’re not going to get any more regular-season basketball this season. That sucks. Luckily, there was enough basketball played in the month of March to be able to put together a dunkilation which isn’t totally pathetic. Sure, I included some dunks here that would have normally gotten cut, but are you going to argue about it when you’re desperately scraping the internet for entertaining material? No. You aren’t.
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0:03 Bonus pirouette at the end. Classy.
0:15 So nice of Whiteside to take his time setting up the dunk, giving Dario Saric plenty of time to insert himself into the poster.
0:17 I asked for extra sauce at McDonald’s one time and the cashier didn’t even do a 360 slam dunk. I left them one star on Yelp.
0:30 Derrick Jones Jr. is the only guy who can dunk normally and still get included in my dunkilations.
0:50 Christian Wood dunking in the vicinity of Donovan Mitchell and Rudy Gobert. Not suspicious at all…
0:56 Don’t lie, when you saw Bojan Bogdanovic aggressively dribbling up court, you hoped that it would be him dunking it.
1:08 Had to cut off the annoying Pelicans commentator for my own sanity.
1:13 I, too, have an overwhelming desire to pat DeAndre Jordan on the head in a fatherly way.
1:24 Did anybody else just discover their fetish for guys dunking it while not swinging their arms down or otherwise moving their arms in any way?
1:59 If you listen closely, you can hear Whiteside primally yelling for at least five seconds after this dunk.
2:31 This one is definitely in contention for HDOTY (Heaviest Dunk of the Year).
2:38 This one is definitely NOT in contention for HDOTY (Heaviest Dunk of the Year). But it is contention for DWHMLLASA (Dunker Whose Hair Most Looks Like a Sea Anemone)
3:02 Matisse Thybulle tried to bop the ball back up through the rim. Defensive mastermind.
3:08 I want a different Bruno in this dunkilation god damn it. Also, if you knew who the dunker was before the commentator said his name, you get five (5) DTB points.
3:41 This annoying commentator dude can’t even talk about the dunk. I thought he was the ultimate Zion nuthugger? The only good thing about this pandemic is that there are no more Pelicans broadcasts for him to ruin with his unbearable homerism and his unfortunate inability to shut up for more than two seconds.
3:55 Players are running through his path trying to stop him but Poringzis just proceeds in a straight line for the hammer.
4:01 Seventh-Day Adventists in shambles.
4:25 We all just witnessed the most violent viral transmission in history. I call this one the “Pandemic Poster”.
4:33 Nice defense by Aldridge, half-heartedly raising his arms while just standing there.
4:41 I want the other Van Gundy commentating. This guy is way too topical. Where are the rants about whether donuts count as dessert?
4:50 Can’t stop watching the hair. It’s like a happy octopus.
4:59 He’s dead. He’s so dead.
5:13 If this ends up being the highlight of Khyri Thomas’ career, that wouldn’t be so bad. At least he tried.
5:23 Yep, foreshadowing.
5:48 Justin Timberjake telling Derrick Favors “bye bye bye”. No, that sucked. Gotta figure out a different funny thing to say about this one.