Chris Chiozza 10 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (8/4/2020)

I think I figured out why the Nets commentary crew keeps bringing up cheese and cheese-related puns during the broadcast.

It’s because Chris Chiozza’s name, if you mangle the pronunciation of it, sort of sounds like it contains the word “cheese”.

And that’s it.

If they’re actually gonna keep doing this, which I hope they don’t because it’s sort of embarrassing and played out even after only a few games, they need to get deeper with their references. They can’t just say that Chiozza was making “munster passes”. That’s the most basic Dad Joke ever. They have to say that “Chiozza havarti it all” in reference to Monta Ellis famously declaring that “he have it all”. They need to pull out such obscure varieties of cheese that even this Wisconsin-born cheese enthusiast is left wondering what the heck they’re talking about.

Speaking of enthusiasm for cheese, the fact that all local festivals are cancelled in Wisconsin right now has negatively impacted my rate of cheese consumption. In particular, fried cheese curd intake is down to almost nothing, whereas in a normal summer, I might get 75% of my caloric needs met by fried cheese curds. Don’t come at me at tell me that Culver’s has fried cheese curds that I can get any time. I know that. But Culver’s cheese curds suck.

Come at me bro.

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