Khem Birch’s name just lends itself way too easily to nicknames. Both his first name and his last name are flexible enough that I could spend days just coming up with new hilarious nicknames and I would never get to a point where I was like, “Ope, that’s it, I can’t think of any more hilarious new nicknames for Khem Birch”. Unfortunately, Birch is not a very good or exciting player, so most of these nicknames, while representing the ultimate peak of creativity and genius, would go unnoticed and unused. Among these nicknames:
-The Birch is Back
-The Alkhemist (and when he dunks on you, that’s his “Alkhemy”)
-Khemistry Killer
-The Tree (birch is a type of tree)
-Khemtrails
-Khemical Kastration
-Birch of Latter Day Saints
These are so good. Can somebody give Birch some steroids so he turns into a better player and be more deserving of these sweet nicknames? Actually, looking at his arms, Birch doesn’t need any more steroids. Can somebody get him a workout with Hakeem please?