Make that three straight games now where Darius “Bazed God” Bazley has hit exactly eight shots. The entire rest of his rookie season, the most shots he had hit in a single game was five. Eight is significantly more than five, and to do that in three consecutive games…well, I don’t want to throw around words like “unprecedented” and “Bazed”, but that kind of abrupt improvement is both wholly unprecedented and wholly Bazed.
Three days ago when Bazley had his first of this run of improved scoring, I wrote some words which turned out to be so prophetic that I’m honestly a bit surprised that I haven’t been appointed the spiritual leader of one of the local cults in my area:
“A one game deviation from this norm isn’t enough to say that a trend is forming where Bazley handles more scoring responsibility, but it IS enough to say that this could be the start of such a trend. And if it is the beginning of such a trend, I will be ready and waiting to make nonstop highlight videos of the Bazed God which contain bonus footage of Danilo Gallinari crying on the bench.”
That game on August 9th WAS the start of a trend. It’s obvious now. The only part of my prophecy which failed to manifest was the footage of Danilo Gallinari crying on the bench. He looked a bit morose sitting over there while Bazley was on the court doing his Kevin Durant impersonations, but he wasn’t crying. If anybody manages to get hold of such footage, please send it my way so I can include it on my videos. Your payment will be autographed Hot Pocket wrappers.
Now can somebody please give me a cult to be in charge of? I’m not very good at bossing people around but I do have some concept of communal farming from my 500 hours of Stardew Valley. And obviously my prophecy-making ability is unmatched. This cult compound is going to be awesome.