I have yet to watch an episode of Serge Ibaka’s cooking show. That’s not a brag, I’m just pointing out that the culinary experimentations depicted in his webseries are of lesser interest to me than his frightening ability to hid a midrange jumper anywhere at any time (as long as “anywhere” is somewhere between the paint and the three-point line).
If Ibaka wants my eyeballs on his videos, here is the list of foods that he must prepare (note that all of these must be in a single episode, so if he has done any of these in a one-off fashion, it doesn’t count):
-Sausage McMuffins (or his own personal take on them [nuclear orange cheese not optional])
-Something with pesto (objectively the best pasta sauce, and if you disagree you have a low IQ)
-Chicken wings (I crave these literally 100% of the time)
-Dessert items that are somehow fried (examples: oreos, ice cream, cheesecake bites)
-Pizza cut into squares
-“Chef Boyardee 2.0” (self-explanatory)
-Pop-Tarts (they only take five seconds to microwave, easiest segment ever)
I don’t think that’s an unreasonable list of demands. If anything, Ibaka is the unreasonable one because he didn’t read my mind and make this video before I even verbalized my desires.