OFFICIAL REASONS TO MAKE THIS VIDEO POWER RANKINGS
1. Everybody loves Michael Porter Jr. and they will watch anything that has the words “Michael Porter Jr.” in the title of the video. I know this is true because I took a video of me making fart noises with my armpits, titled “Michael Porter Jr. 15 Points Full Highlights (8/24/2020)” and it got 600,000 views. No new Patreon donors, though.
2. Fifteen points is the second-most points MPJ has scored in this series. His 13-, 7-, and 9-point efforts were not inspiring, and neither is this one, but it’s a little bit more inspiring than the others.
3. If I don’t make this video, then I won’t be uploading any videos for tonight’s games, because there are no DTB-worthy performances from the Clippers-Mavericks game. Obviously I need to upload at least one video to prove to people that I haven’t died. Yet.
4. I have this sick compulsion to watch more footage of Michael Porter Jr. hitting jumpers. It consumes my waking thoughts and it consumes my sleeping thoughts as well because that’s all I dream about. Well, that and eating large amounts of chicken wings (and then waking up with a drool-drenched pillow).
5. I knew the video description would be easy since these stupid power rankings are super quick to write and I don’t have to think about it too hard.
[POWER GAP]
9001. Respect for my own time and energy.