https://youtu.be/cA4NZZpUP3c
No Kyrie? No Durant? No frickin’ problem when you’ve got HEADBAND HARRIS on your team ready to burst out of his 80’s time capsule to devastate the opposing team with spicy three-pointers and surprisingly adept dribble-drives. This guy might have effortlessly won a three-point contest, but if you held a “white guy contested layup” contest, he would probably win that one too. And if the NBA wanted to really rake in the viewership ratings, they could hold a headband fashion show. Just thinking about Joe Harris sauntering down the runway and shaking his messy mop of hair while staring with lust-filled eyes into the camera is making my knees weak. And it’s doing something else to my anatomy that can’t be discussed on a family-friendly channel.
Harris’ wide range of skills on display in this game only cements my stance that he could easily be the second option on a playoff team and average 20 PPG per game. That won’t happen as long as the KI/KD combo is monopolizing the team’s shot attempts, but let’s just say that I won’t mind if they get lightly injured every once in a while and Harris is forced to step up like this. If Durant sits out every fifth game with a phantom “bald spot injury” and Irving gets a “big toe contusion” while stepping off the team bus, Harris has shown that he is more than ready to replace their scoring with his scoring.
I spent most of the past few years speculating how much Harris would get paid when his next contract came in, and, no surprise, he’s HELLA PAID now (I heard that if you stand right next to him and sniff, he smells like a bank vault), so that’s awesome for a guy who didn’t really even get minutes in the league until he was 25.