https://youtu.be/BtbLmY8wkVU
Since I know that NBA players can’t resist watching highlight videos of themselves, ESPECIALLY players who are on the fringes of the league and don’t get a large amount of media attention, I’m about 90% confident that Devin Cannady himself will watch this highlight video at some point. Whether or not he’ll bother reading my tedious paragraphs of text is another question, but I hope he does. He was a four-year player at Princeton so he probably knows how to read.
Devin, if you’re reading this, I have a business proposition for you: in exchange for a portion of the real American dollars that your NBA contract pays you, I will be your official highlight ambassador. That means I will focus my highlight-making efforts on you first, and everybody else second. Your play in the NBA will be immortalized by the best highlight maker in the game today, and the high quality production values of my highlight videos will make it that much more likely that you continue to receive those big-money NBA contracts that I know you’ve been craving since you were in middle school.
Here’s a brief breakdown of the pricing structure:
Base highlights package (I make a highlight video every time you score more than fourteen points): $25,000/mo
Extended highlights package (I make a highlight video every time you make three or more field goals): add $25,000/mo
Archivist’s highlights package (I make a highlight video for every single game you play): add $100,000/mo
Playmaker package (I include assists even if you don’t get five of them, which is the OFFICIAL DTB ASSISTS THRESHOLD): add $10,000/mo
Up-and-comer package (I make highlight videos of your G-League games where you score twenty or more): add $25,000/mo
Storyteller package (I come up with an extended multi-part storyline to spice up the video descriptions): add $50,000/mo
Hang out with DTB package (You hang out with me and we go to the park and shoot jumpers): I refund you $5,000/mo
House of Highlights package (I contract out these highlight videos to House of Highlights; at the expense of video quality, you get more exposure): add $15,000/mo
Hit me up, Devin, if this intrigues you. I know it intrigues me.