https://youtu.be/1xK-vBpM14E
Is it just me, or did the Hornets commentators sound a little… salty? Salty about Dwayne “A and Y Correctly Positioned” Bacon dominating his former team to the tune of a career-high 28 points? I’m not the world’s greatest salt detector, so I could be wrong. Sometimes stuff said sarcastically is interpreted by me as being said saltily (my inability to detect sarcasm is worrying since pretty much everything I type in these descriptions is cocooned in so many layers of sarcasm that my true opinions on anything are impossible to discern). Maybe the Hornets commentators were just having a little light-hearted fun while pretending to be slightly annoyed at the fact that Bacon never scored this many points while he was a Hornet.
But if they were salty, really earnestly salty, mining the salt mines with their pickaxes made of tears, I have to wonder why. It’s not like the Hornets lost this game, so even if it was a REVENGE GAME (which it totally was), it didn’t really matter. And it’s not like Bacon never showed scoring potential during his three years in Charlotte. He had plenty (okay, like a half-dozen) of games where he scored a nice amount of points. And even if he had been a slightly better player in Charlotte, it’s not like that would’ve even moved the needle for them at all. Maybe they win a few extra games, so they can get stomped in the first round instead of missing the ‘offs entirely? Bacon wasn’t the reason they sucked. He was just a minor part of the suckage.
Maybe I’m overthinking it. In fact, I definitely am. But am I not in the mood to accept any Bacon slander on this day, joking or otherwise. This is his day. The day where he scored 28 points, more points than he has ever scored in the NBA. Who do I talk to to make this a national holiday? Or at least a state of Florida holiday? Is there like a hotline I can call? Because I am proclaiming March 7th to be “Dwayne Bacon Day”. And you will celebrate this day by watching this video once every hour.
I reserve the right to move “Dwayne Bacon Day” to a new day if he ends up scoring 30 before the season ends. I’m really thinking that this could happen; he saw how easy it was to score in the G-League, and since playing for the Magic right now is like playing for a G-League team (OHHHH DISSSSSSS), the scoring should continue to be easy. And he’s basically the number one option, he can shoot whatever shots he wants right now. Last game of the season, book it. 33 points. Calling it now.