BEN SIMMONS JUMPSHOT ALERT! BEN SIMMONS JUMPSHOT ALERT!
Forget about the career-high, forget about the game-winning free throws, forget about all his sick passes and sicker finishes, Ben Simmons just hit a legit pullup midrange jumper. I installed a whole bunch of flashing red klaxons in my highlights cave that tell me when he hits a jumper (a single Ben Simmons Jumpshot Alert Klaxon can be yours for a mere 200 American dollars), and it’s getting me super hyped. Also, I can’t figure out how to turn them off so the hype is slowly turning into a pounding headache, but for now I’m just really super hyped because he frickin’ just took a jumper in David Nwaba’s face, canned it, and talked some trash afterwards.
He must have spent the whole All-Star break, except for when he was actually participating in the festivities, practicing that jumper. And it must have been working, at least a little bit, because I don’t think the old Simmons would’ve even taken it. He would’ve gone to the rack, tried to score some dipsy-doo layup, but not anymore.
I think he just overtook Donovan Mitchell in the race for the ROY of the Year award. That was the one thing that Mitchell could do that Simmons couldn’t: shoot jumpers. Now Simmons has removed that flaw from his game, and since he’s better in all the other facets of the game, everything becomes a lot clearer. It would be the clearest if he could maybe get a 40-burger or two before the season ends.
Also Embiid totally stepped out of bounds on that last steal but I don’t think either team is too upset at the outcome of this particular contest.