When I meet a prospective friend for the first time, I need to have a quick way to determine if they are worthy of my friendship. After experimenting with different topics, I found the perfect question to weed out the unworthy.
“Would you consider Jamal Crawford to be, on the whole, a good NBA player?”
Approximately 90% of males and 100% of females have no idea who I’m talking about, so they are dismissed (note that this process does not apply to females I am romantically interested in, only those who are so ugly as to only be suitable for platonic friendship). Of the few people who can positively identify Jamal Crawford, a good two-thirds of them consider him to be an asset to whatever team he’s on. These people are wrong, and are discarded with the trash.
Those who have correctly ascertained that Jamal Crawford has, at best, a neutral effect on his team are deemed acceptable to be my friend and companion. However, DownToBuck still remains friendless. Why, you ask? Because they are basketball snobs. I would never fraternize with such despicably stuck-up elitists. Where are all the cool bros who can acknowledge Jamal Crawford’s overrated-ness while also being just totally chill all-around people? If you fit this description, leave a comment so we can be e-bros.