Since I had to drop Nikola Jokic from my channel, I’ve seen a lot less traffic on my videos from Serbs. Sure, there’s still a couple of Serbian NBA players who I show love to (when I think about Nemanja Bjelica, visions of eggplant emojis dance in front of my eyes for some reason), but there’s no Serbian superstar to draw those coveted Serb eyeballs to my channel.
Bam Adebayo is basically the next Nikola Jokic except his skin color is different. Otherwise, he does the same things. He scores with a soft touch from everywhere (except from three, but Jokic is shooting 27% from three this season so they’re similar in that regard). He makes fun passes with regularity. He gets triple-doubles. He plays defense. He’s anchoring a surprisingly good team.
The only problem is, Adebayo isn’t Serbian. Serbs don’t care about him. And you might think, there’s no way that Adebayo can be Serbian. Since he has no Serbian ancestry and has never even been to Serbia, there’s no way to get Serbs to pay attention to him any more than they pay attention to any other non-Serb player. But you’d be mistaken in that line of thinking, because I have a foolproof plan that will get Serbs to rally behind Adebayo and support him with the full strength of their nationalistic fervor. Behold my new viral hashtag creation!
#BamAdebayoIsASerb
It’s perfect. When I start using this hashtag on Twitter, which alleges that Adebayo is a Serb, it will be so absurd and nonsensical that other people will start using it as a joke. Then, its usage will be so widespread that its initially humorous intent will get lost, and people will start taking it seriously. You know how your grandma has no idea what things on the internet are real and which are fake? That’s gonna be happening bigtime with this hashtag, but it won’t just be grandmas. It will be everybody. Including Serbs.
Serbs will see #BamAdebayoIsASerb plastered all over Instagram and Twitter and Snapchat (if you can use hashtags on Snapchat) and TikTok (what is TikTok) and they’ll think “Yeah. Bam Adebayo is definitely a Serb.” Then they’ll log on to YouTube in search of Bam Adebayo highlights and what will they find? That’s right! A treasure trove of DownToBuck-created Bam Adebayo highlight videos just waiting to be viewed with eagerness and joy! Given enough time, the lie that Adebayo is a Serb will become like a fact. The Serbian government will even grant him citizenship and it will be a real fact and not a fake fact. At that point, my mission will be complete, and it all started with just one simple hashtag. A hashtag that changed the world.
Join me, friends. #BamAdebayoIsASerb