I just came up with a new nickname for Danuel House. Unfortunately, it comes three years too late to be relevant. However, such is my vanity that I am compelled to share this new nickname with the world so that I may be heaped with praise by those who recognize the great creative mind which resides in this skull of mine:
House of ‘Zards.
It’s perfect. “House” is a reference to House’s last name, which is House. ‘Zards is a reference to the Washington Wizards basketball team for which House played exactly one minute his rookie season. The whole thing is a reference to the common concept of a “house of cards” which is a tall, but ultimately too flimsy, hand-built construct made out of playing cards. The idea of a “house of cards” has entered the mainstream English lexicon as a metaphor for a shoddily-executed plan doomed to failure. I do not think that House is a failure, though. The nickname should not be taken that far in to metaphorical territory.
Since this nickname is too awesome to go unused, I’m going to get on the phone right away and see if I can trick the Rockets into trading House and his cheap contract to the Wizards in the off-season. If I can get that cheap bastard Tilman Fertitta on the line and somehow convince him that House’s presence on the team will mean a $20 mil luxury tax payment, this trade can definitely happen with very little further greasing of the wheels.