Fifteen points is one point shy of the OFFICIAL DTB POINTS THRESHOLD for Daniel Theis, which is sixteen points. There is a reason why the ODTBPT has “OFFICIAL” as part of its name: it’s because I legally can’t make a highlight video for a player when they score fewer than that many points. You might scoff but I have had the cops called on me for the violating the ODTBPT. You would think that since it’s MY points threshold, and not the government’s, there would be no penalty for violating the ODTBPT other than my own self-imposed penalties, but that’s apparently not the case.
I am literally risking my personal freedom by making this highlight video. The cops could arrest me at any time and they would be fully justified in doing so. However, I think this risk is worth it. There are several good reasons for me to ignore the ODTBPT in this instance:
1. Theis got kicked in the face, which is something that happens so rarely that it deserves a DTB highlight video just by itself. In case you’re wondering, yes, I did look up the hilarious picture of Ira Newble kicking Mike Dunleavy Jr. in the face.
2. I knew that Theis made a slick pass to Jaylen Brown towards the end of this game, and reasoned that the uncommonly skillful assist makes up for the single missing point that would drag this video past the ODTBPT.
3. I was pretty sure Theis dunked it in this game. And I was right. As I always am.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I hear knocking at my door. I’m sure it’s my order of 25 wings (half buffalo, half garlic parmesan, with an extra cup of blue cheese dipping sauce) being delivered to me by a heroic GrubHub deliveryperson. Jawohl!