Allen Crabbe Career High 17 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2015)

Good to see you again! I hope you have your book report ready to turn in! 10 pages front-and-back, single-spaced on how the “Harry Potter” series is different when you replace all instances of the character Vincent Crabbe with Allen Crabbe.

What do you mean, you only got through the first few chapters of the series before realizing that the series was poorly written tripe meant for kids? Your assignment wasn’t to assess the quality of the writing. It was to explore in a societal and philosophical context Allen Crabbe’s hypothetical role in the Harry Potter universe. Would he introduce all the students to the Muggle game of basketball? Would he get expelled because he couldn’t even do magic and had to play a bunch of basketball in America? In a primarily white school, what would be the ramifications of his urban blackness?

It was your job to analyze these and other possibilities. Since you don’t have anything to turn in except for wiseacre remarks on J.K. Rowling’s masterpiece, I have no choice but to give you a failing grade. It hurts me more than it hurts you.

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