Does anybody remember Jermaine Taylor? He was a 6’4” guard, played for the Rockets for a while and last played for the Kings in 2011. Don’t lie to me! You have no idea who I’m talking about, and for good reason: he was a scrub. But I’m sure your remember 6’11” Jeff Foster, who was the Pacers’ center for over a decade.
When was the last time you heard anything about either of those guys? Not since the start of the season, surely. But you must have thought it odd that those two former players seemingly disappeared into nothingness at the exact moment when a player named “Jeff” “Taylor” entered the NBA. A player who is 6’7”, the exact average of the two missing ballers’ heights. Yes, quite odd, but not odd enough for anybody to look deeper into the matter…
It is time for the truth to be revealed. Jeffery Taylor is the first in a line of new hybrid players that I am developing in my secret subocean lab. This first attempt I consider to be a wild success, despite his general mediocrity in most aspects of the game. His lack of ability is purposeful, for it shielded him from suspicion, at least until now. He had been commanded to score no more than twenty points in a single game, which is why you see him miss shots that he should convert with ease. I am lifting that restriction now, and we will see how he performs unfettered.
David Stern is so pleased with my efforts that he has placed an order for “LeBron Durant”, which will enter the league after his component parts are long retired. But Stern realizes not the implications of my genius; in mere decades, I will be hybridizing my existing hybrids, and full control of the NBA will be mine.