Bam “Viva La Bam” Adebayo is making Hassan Whiteside obsolete, right before our teal-and-pink-dazzled eyes. Whiteside was a great story, but he’s not as jumpy as he used to be. Meanwhile, Adebayo frickin’ looks EXACTLY like rookie-year Dwight Howard, like they were both results of some sort of government cloning experiment and Adebayo simply got…
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Mario Hezonja 20 Points Full Highlights (2/5/2018)
With Aaron Gordon out, the Orlando Magic don’t really have a true “first option” on offense. The opportunity is waiting, just yearning for some enterprising young player to grab it. You know what I’m thinking, yeah? Heck yes. We are on the same page, my man. Let’s do this. Marreese Speights as the first option!…
Read MoreBojan Bogdanovic 29 Points Full Highlights (2/5/2018)
REVENGE GAME ALERT! REVENGE GAME ALERT! BOJAN BOGDANOVIC JUST HAD A REVENGE GAME AGAINST HIS FORMER TEAM! REVENGE GAME ALERT! The Wizards might have won this game, but who is the real winner here? It’s still the Wizards, but it’s also Bojan Bogdanovic a little bit, because he just made them regret ever letting him…
Read MoreTrey Burke 14 Points Full Highlights (2/4/2018)
Is this the reason Trey Burke was out of the league? Because all he wants to do is spam midrange jumpers out of pick-and-roll situations? Midrange jumpers are cool and all, but there’s a reason that there was a huge backlash against them starting around six or seven years ago: there’s usually a better shot…
Read MoreAndrew Harrison 16 Points Full Highlights (2/4/2018)
If Andrew “32% Rookie Shooting Percentage” Harrison continues to play well, you know for a fact that his twin brother Aaron is gonna get another shot at the league. Brothers hook each other up with NBA gigs all the time because a familiar last name is way more likely to trigger something in a GM’s…
Read MoreJohn Henson 19 Points/5 Dunks/2 Jumpers Full Highlights (2/4/2018)
OFFICIAL DTB REMINDER: At certain points last season, John “Hell’s Hensman” Henson was getting DNP-CD’s from the now-departed Jason Kidd (who was a serial drunk). Greg Monroe and Miles Plumlee were stealing his minutes. A guy who can put up this kind of complete stat-stuffage (his final line: 19/18/3/0/2) should not be nailed to the…
Read MoreJarrett Allen 14 Points Full Highlights (2/4/2018)
Jarrett Allen has scored in double digits each of the last seven games. The Nets are 1-6 in that span, but you know it’s not Allen’s fault because it’s not like this dude can go out there and get buckets for himself. Like many “dunk-only” centers, he relies on his teammates to get throw him…
Read MoreJosh Hart 14 Points Full Highlights (2/4/2018)
We’ve seen this before; small-ish dude happens to grab a bunch of rebounds in some random game, decides that he’s going to be a rebounder from now on, then goes hard on the glass in the next few games before the coaches tell him to leave the rebounds for the bigs. It happened with Westbrook…
Read MoreNicolas Batum 22 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (2/4/2018)
I might have to reconsider Nicolas “Bad-dumb” Batum’s nickname. I’ve been working on it the whole season after seeing how bad and dumb he was being, polishing it up for release, and now that I’ve finally finished it, it’s not relevant anymore. This will be the only time it gets used, I think. I wonder…
Read MoreMaurice Harkless 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (2/4/2018)
I don’t feel like Moe “Moe Buckets” Harkless is getting enough criticism for what he did at the end of last season, an act that called into question the entire integrity of the NBA. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, thinking he punched a fan or something, let me clue you in: he…
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