I may not be the next president of the United States (DAMMIT), but at least I made this video over a minute long! Peep this: there are only four clips in this video, one clip for each shot that Dragan Bender made. No replays, no extraneous doodads. That means that every clip had to last,…
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Harrison Barnes 31 Points Full Highlights (11/8/2016)
Alright, guys. I’ve got some serious stuff to discuss with you. No jokes. No games. I’ve been following the election results. You know, the American election. The presidential one. The important one, the one that affects all of us across the entire globe. I’ve been looking at those interactive map thingies, that tell you how…
Read MoreC.J. McCollum 33 Points Full Highlights (11/8/2016)
Do the Trailblazers even need anyone besides C.J. McCollum and Damian Lillard to be good at all? Just have those dudes take turns taking shots, surround them with some defenders who don’t need the ball and BAM you look up at the scoreboard, the game is over, and Portland wins. Again. I am not overreacting…
Read MoreSeth Curry 23 Points Full Highlights (11/8/2016)
Add Seth Curry to the “List of Dudes People Thought Would Be Better On a New Team”. He’s not WAY off what he was doing last year with the Kings (unless you’re looking at his last few games with them, then yeah, he’s way off), but I was thinking major improvement was in store for…
Read MoreJamal Murray 10 Points Full Highlights (11/8/2016)
I haven’t quite yet separated Jamal Murray and Dejounte Murray as distinct entities in my mind. I swear I’m trying really hard to, but it’s a work in progress that might take a while. It’s hard enough to keep track of which players went to which new teams without a bunch of similarly-named rookies coming…
Read MoreVince Carter 20 Points Full Highlights (11/8/2016)
Yes, I am aware that Vince Carter had 5 assists in this game in addition to his 20 points. Yes, I am aware that one of those assists was a lob to Marc Gasol for the game-winner with .7 seconds remaining. Yes, I am aware that said assists are not contained in this video, despite…
Read MoreClint Capela 14 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (11/7/2016)
When I saw that Clint “The Capelmeister” Capela had fourteen points on 7-of-10 shooting, my first thought was: dunks. My second thought was: why did Jennifer leave me. My third thought was: alley-oops from James Harden. I guess I got my wish…kinda? There are some alley-oops from Harden to Capela in this video. One of…
Read MoreEnes Kanter 24 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2016)
I have already expressed my sorrow at Turkish people not being able to watch highlights of their favorite Turkish NBAers because of governmental internet censorship. I’ll express it again: it sucks. Erdogan’s Turkish government, from what I can tell as a barely-informed American pig imperialist, is pretty much totally screwed up right now in terms…
Read MoreC.J. Miles 23 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2016)
Sorry for the delay in making more highlight videos to feed your insatiable content appetite. I was temporarily occupied eagerly watching some dude make Donyell Marshall suck his rod. Again, my apologies. It won’t happen again. I don’t have anything to say about C.J. Miles, really. This isn’t even that good of a game for…
Read MoreDomantas Sabonis 15 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2016)
Just forget about Donatas Motiejunas, Lithuania-bros. I have sources inside the Rockets organization that don’t want me to tell you this, but I want you guys to find it out from a trusted source instead of a faceless media conglomerate: D-Mo died like a week ago. Just straight up died not only because of how…
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