My first thought when I saw that Kelly Oubre had 26 points was “Man, ‘Zards fans are gonna be pissed that Oubre got traded for being bumsauce and then it turned out he was capable of games like this the entire time.” And that thought made me happy because the concept of an entire fanbase…
Read MoreMario Hezonja 19 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2019)
Nineteen points is Mario “The Croat GOAT” Hezonja’s highest-scoring game this season, despite the fact that he scored twenty or more six times last season. Again, this brings up the eternal question: is he getting misused by Fiz, or does hes just suck? As is usual for me, I don’t know the answer, but I…
Read MoreBojan Bogdanovic 23 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (1/8/2019)
Seeing Bojan Bogdanovic with a cleanly-shaven, completely smooth face just two days after seeing him with an unchecked furry growth on his neck and cheeks is kinda tripping me out. It’s like two different people. One looks like a clean-cut high-school basketball coach and the other looks like a hobo straight off the streets of…
Read MoreThaddeus Young 26 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2019)
Asprawl on the comfortable, but too short, hotel bed, Thaddeus Young was unwinding with some television when there was an unexpected knock at the door. “Room service!” came the muffled voice from the other side. Confusedly, Thaddeus rolled off the bed and went to answer the door. He hadn’t ordered any room service that he…
Read MoreBen McLemore 20 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2019)
Before this game, I was starting to think that Ben McLemore might be out of the league after this season. And, honestly, I might still kind of be thinking that, because McLemore seemed to turn from “disappointing but playable player” to “a pile of human trash so immense and unskilled that it should never be…
Read MoreFurkan Korkmaz 16 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2019)
Furkan “The Motherfurker” “Korverkmaz” “The Turk Furk” Korkmaz isn’t even shooting above 40% from the field this season. I just found this out and it’s like a total betrayal for me. I guess I made too many highlights of this guy and assumed that he was as good as his highlight videos made him out…
Read MoreJordan Clarkson 26 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2019)
I am detecting some emerging chemistry between Jordan Clarkson and Matthew Dellavedova. This is strange to me because, during his time in Milwaukee, Delly didn’t seem to develop any chemistry with anybody. All he did was have his ass develop chemistry with the bench because that’s where he spent most of his time sitting. Somehow,…
Read MoreJeremy Lin 20 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (1/8/2019)
I knock on the unmarked door, my arm trembling. Whether it trembles from trepidation or excitement, I can’t quite tell. The door remains closed for so long that I wonder if I have gotten the address wrong. However, after a nerve-wracking wait, the door opens a sliver and a pair of eyes peeks out. “Password?”…
Read MoreNikola Jokic Triple Double 29 Pts/11 Rebs/10 Asts/1 Game-Winner Full Highlights (1/8/2019)
One of the things that MVP candidates have to do if they want to be more than just an MVP candidate and be the actual MVP is hit game-winners. No one really remembers random shots from the middle of the second quarter unless they’re REALLY crazy. But everyone remembers game-winners. Before I was an NBA…
Read MoreLandry Shamet Career High 29 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (1/8/2019)
If the 76ers are thinking that Landry Shamet can be a long-term replacement for J.J. Redick, this game definitely added some legitimacy to that idea. However, it didn’t do anything to help the main issue that’s standing in the way of their plan, which is that Shamet is simply WAY weirder-looking than Redick. By a…
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