So one thing I found out recently is that you can go out with girls on dates but not be looking for long-term companionship while doing it. That was pretty much a revelation for me because, in the past, when I pursued girls, it was always with the intent to make them my GF. This…
Read MoreWayne Ellington All 227 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Three-ilation Part I)
[Ed. Note: This video is getting reuploaded because it got deleted, and the below description only makes sense in that context] My entire life was upended when I found out that I, for unknown reasons, couldn’t upload NBA highlight videos longer than ten minutes without them getting slapped worth a worldwide block and disappearing from…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo All 161 Dunks Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Dunkilation)
Giannis’ head was spinning as he drove home after dropping Rachel off at her apartment. Not only had he mustered up the courage to kiss her, a feat which he had not allowed himself to even believe possible, but she had reciprocated by kissing him again after they had said their goodbyes. To steady his…
Read MoreWillie Cauley-Stein All 133 Dunks Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Dunkilation)
Willie Cauley-Stein was sitting on his living-room couch engaging in one of his favorite pastimes: browsing basketball-reference on his iPad while stoned. The stats were just so much more interesting, even funny on occasion, when read under the influence of marijuana. It was especially fun to go back to the box-scores of past games he…
Read MoreLauri Markkanen All 145 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Three-ilation)
Lauri Markkanen was embroiled in a particularly pitched match of Rocket League when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. Knowing that his teammates would hate him if he abandoned the game, he ignored the repeated dings of the bell, even as they became more frequent and more urgent. “I’LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE!” he yelled towards…
Read MoreLonzo Ball All 90 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Three-ilation)
Lonzo Ball saw his phone buzzing with an incoming call, but ignored it. A player of his renown would go insane trying to answer every call that came his way. However, when the same number called his phone a second and then a third time, his interest was piqued, and when it called for the…
Read MoreBoban Marjanovic All 79 Field Goals Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Bucketilation)
King Marjanovic idly gazed out onto the grand stone hall in front of him, relaxed and content in his own power. A soothing breeze flowed through open doors into the stuffy throne room, carrying on it the scent of apples and plums from the royal orchards situated nearby. Feeling the sudden urge for a snack,…
Read MoreJames Harden All 265 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Three-ilation Part II)
Vikal Tawakal had no idea where he was, or even who he was. In an instant, his simple life in Indonesia had been replaced with something entirely different. His plain bedroom was now an impossibly luxurious chamber fit for royalty, but, more importantly, his mind now inhabited the body of a tall black man. There…
Read MoreJames Harden All 265 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Three-ilation Part I)
James Harden awoke to unfamiliar sounds outside his bedroom. For some reason, he could hear car horns blaring, engines running, the normal background noise of urban life…but he didn’t live an urban life. His home in Houston was tucked far back into an exclusive suburban community where the slightest hint of loudness would attract a…
Read MoreSteven Adams All 149 Dunks Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Dunkilation)
“Steven, what are you doing?” Steven Adams looked up from his work and raised his goggles from his eyes. “I’m building a time machine with these instructions I found on the internet.” To prove the legitimacy of the instructions, he pointed to the jpeg-artifacted NASA logo in the bottom corner of the printout. “You wanna…
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