There was a part of me that was like “it would be cool for the Spurs to miss the playoffs so that all the Popovich nuthuggers would stop hugging his nuts” but then there was an opposing part of me that was like “if Manu Ginobili missed the playoffs he would probably retire and it…
Read MoreNikola Mirotic 24 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2018)
Nikola Mirotic has played very well since chopping off the furry brown mass that was engulfing his chin. This 24-point game is actually his lowest point total since adopting the “Paul Zipser” look. But I have a feeling that he’s got another surprise in store for us for the playoffs. No, I’m not talking about…
Read MoreSindarius Thornwell 20 Points/7 Assists Full HIghlights (4/9/2018)
Sindarius Thornwell: competent backup shooting guard yeah or nah? He definitely passes the “look at his shooting percentage” test by having shooting percentages (43% from the field, 34% from three) that are perfectly acceptable for a rookie. He also passes the “does he have positive winshares” test by having positive winshares. In fact, he passes…
Read MoreBoban Marjanovic 12 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2018)
Sometimes I get these intrusive thoughts. They’re about all manner of things, really. Violent things. Morbid things. Perverted things. These thoughts just pop into my mind without warning and I can’t stop them. Maybe making all these highlight videos has made me go insane and this is the first manifestation of my insanity; unwelcome thoughts…
Read MoreD’Angelo Russell 21 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (4/9/2018)
Just saying, I looked up pics of Iggy Azalea and she is really weird looking. Who cares if she’s got big peaches if her face is all wonky? I think D’Angelo Russell was just trying to save Nick Young from marrying a chick who would only produce deformed babies. He was being a good teammate….
Read MoreJusuf Nurkic 20 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2018)
Mason Plumlee couldn’t contain Jusuf Nurkic. Nikola Jokic couldn’t contain Jusuf Nurkic. Jusuf Nurkic could barely contain Jusuf Nurkic. Jusuf Nurkic was, at points in this game, a completely unstoppable out-of-control force of rebound and flailing post move. I hate to compare them again, but Jokic plays the game in a very measured way. He’s…
Read MoreFrank Ntilikina 17 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2018)
Frank Ntilikina looks a lot like some other NBA player that I can’t put my finger on. It freaks me out every time I look at him, how much he resembles this unknown baller. I wish I could figure this out, it’s driving me nuts, plus it made appreciating this career-high performance by The French…
Read MoreWillie Cauley-Stein 25 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2018)
If you want a real trip, go look up a picture of Willie Cauley-Stein’s grandparents. I can’t imagine a pair of people less likely to create, even distantly, an athletic freakazoid like WCS. For one thing, they are very white looking. Not going to assume their race or anything though. And what’s up with his…
Read MoreLuke Kennard 20 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2018)
Here’s a fun little tip for Pistons fans: if you really mess with the colors on your YouTube-viewing device, you can make it so that Luke Kennard looks like Donovan Mitchell! It also helps if you squint a little bit, also, try to ignore the fact that the court is an odd shade of pink…
Read MoreShabazz Muhammad 22 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2018)
Shabazz Muhammad has been a nice surprise for the Bucks. A surprise in that he is actually sometimes playable. I don’t know what was going on Minnesota that made him get stapled to the bench, but there are no such issues in Milwaukee. Actually, I do know what was going on: the Timberwolves actually want…
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