Lauri Markkanen scored his 24th point sometime in the third quarter of this game. A little bit later, he was pulled from the game, never to return. It’s not like he was injured or anything. He was just playing too well, was too hot shooting the ball, and had somehow given the Bulls the lead…
Read MoreJose Calderon 19 Points Full Highlights (4/3/2018)
Jose Calderon is experiencing an unexpected career revival in Cleveland. After spending last season as a seldom-used third-stringer for the Lakers and Hawks, he’s seen a small uptick in minutes and a larger uptick in overall scoring efficiency. Just like Kobe and Dirk would go to Europe in the off-season to get special “European treatments”…
Read MoreRicky Rubio 31 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (4/3/2018)
Ricky Rubio flipped the digital page of his Kindle version of Don Quixote and found that his eyes were getting droopy. Despite his drowsiness, Ricky pressed on; he always strove to finish a chapter before setting the book down for the night. Readjusting his position atop a small mountain of assorted pillows and blankets, he…
Read MoreTobias Harris 31 Points Full Highlights (4/3/2018)
The following is a list of players/coaches that Tobias Harris completely dominated/embarrassed last night: -Lafartus Fartridge -Manu GinOLDbili -Gregg Poopobitch -Kawhine Leonard (he knew that Tobes would own him so he didn’t even show up to the game) -Kyloser Anderslow -Fatty Mills -Pau Gasold With this win, the Clippers probably keep their playoff chances alive,…
Read MoreJaylen Brown 24 Points Full Highlights (4/3/2018)
The Celtics did about as well as could have been expected tonight, given that they were without a PG except for “Kadeem Allen”, whose existence is obviously fabricated. They don’t need a true PG, really, since Stevens’ system is so good, and they also don’t need what seemed to be half the roster including two…
Read MoreJohn Collins 19 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (4/3/2018)
I wish my mom would give me encouragement in my endeavors. Seeing John Collins’ mother cheering her son on arose within me some weird (no, not in that way you perv) emotions. Sadness. Confusion. Regret. The only thing she knows about my internet activities is that I tried to be an Instagram model for a…
Read MoreMalik Monk 21 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (4/3/2018)
Malik Monk’s purported 43-inch vertical has to be one of the best in the league, right? If not the very best? So why doesn’t he dunk it more? Here’s a hint for young Mr. Monk: dunking the ball is pretty much a guaranteed two points and there’s no reason not to do it every time…
Read MoreKentavious Caldwell-Pope 28 Points Full Highlights (4/3/2018)
Somehow, a game where Kentavious Caldwell-Pope leads the charge for the Lakers just doesn’t feel as satisfying. He’s not ancient or anything, but he’s also not a homegrown talent and he’ll be gone (presumably) after the season is over. Him scoring points means nothing for the Lakers of the future. Long story short, I’m advocating…
Read MoreSean Kilpatrick 21 Points Full Highlights (4/3/2018)
Sean Kilpatrick has come a long way since being that dude the Timberwolves called up from the D-League because he was in close proximity to the away game they were playing that day. He didn’t show much that day (though he did show 13 points worth of stuff two games later), but now he’s hitting…
Read MoreJosh Jackson 28 Points Full Highlights (4/3/2018)
Josh Jackson has been unleashed. The Suns weren’t trying to win at the beginning of the year, but now they’re not trying to win AND they don’t have Devin Booker, so Jackson gets to do whatever he wants now. No threat of getting benched, no other offensive options to take touches away from him, this…
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