Russell Westbrook could be the hardest-trying player in the league. When he dunks, he doesn’t just plop the ball through the hoop like a wimp. He rockets the ball with enough force that if somebody was standing underneath it and got hit in the head, they would probably die. His whamjams regularly appear in my…
Read MoreBismack Biyombo Career High 17 Points Full Highlights (5/14/2016)
I don’t think there are many things more clutch than scoring a career high in a game seven. And I don’t think that there were many people out there who had ventured to affix the “clutch” label on Bismack Biyombo. If we evaluate this performance honestly, Biyombo scoring seventeen is comparable to Stephen Curry scoring…
Read MoreJaVale McGee All 49 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
The two tall men embraced in the terminal of Dallas/Fort Worth airport. The taller of the two was dressed in a baby blue tank top, extra-small green running shorts, a pink feather boa, and a top hat. The shorter was dressed in the same purple suit that he had been wearing when they had said…
Read MoreJustise Winslow 12 Points Full Highlights (5/13/2016)
Basically, anytime you succeed in wringing some points out of the defense-only talents of Justise Winslow, it’s a bonus. Those are bonus points. They even get put in a special section of the box score called “bonus points” where all the players who aren’t supposed to score points get their points put. It’s like a…
Read MoreTim Duncan 19 Points/1 Final Game? Full Highlights (5/12/2016)
Tim Duncan awoke to find himself in an odd place populated only by a pervasive gray mist. He tentatively took a step forward and was relieved to find that he was standing on some kind of solid floor, even though he could see nothing below him but an extending void filled with the fog. He…
Read MoreSteven Adams 15 Points Full Highlights (5/12/2016)
Steven Adams: the Thunder’s third best player? Let’s take a look at some of his competition: Serge Ibaka: Only shoots jumpers now Dion Waiters: Dion Waiters Randy Foye: The Nuggets didn’t want him Anthony Morrow: Would be better but has been lashed to the bench by Donovan’s ineptitude Enes Kanter: If his name had a…
Read MoreAndre Roberson 14 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (5/12/2016)
Check out Andre Roberson at 1:46. Expertly trained government-certified lipreaders (like me) will quickly be able to tell what he’s saying, but for those of you who aren’t gifted in the art of soundless speech decipherization: “Come on coach.” I can understand his frustration. If I was busy making Kawhi Leonard’s MVP candidacy look like…
Read MoreAllen Crabbe 20 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (5/11/2016)
So, Allen “Crabbey Patty” Crabbe proved himself to be a competent scorer this season after not really proving himself to be one during his first two seasons. Given his value as a bench scorer/fringe starter, which category does he fall under when it comes to the Blazers’ future plans? A) Core piece, max contract B)…
Read MoreBoban Marjanovic All 105 Field Goals Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Bucketilation)
King Marjanovic sat in his private chambers, located at the top of the highest tower of the castle. From this high-up vantage point, the king could look out each of the room’s four windows in turn and be able to see nearly the full extent of his kingdom. Now taking the opportunity to so look,…
Read MoreDanny Green 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (5/10/2016)
Let me know if this situation seems familiar: NBA player (Danny Green) plays well (over 40% from three) and is rewarded (10 million per) for his efforts by his team (San Antonio Spurs), but then promptly begins to suck (33% from three) because he got paid (fiat currency is a Ponzi scheme) and doesn’t need…
Read More