Checking his red polo shirt in the reflection of his car window, Zach Randolph smoothed out the creases and took a deep breath. Walking around to the back of the Krispy Kreme store, he found the service entrance. Sure that it would be locked, he tested the handle, which turned easily in his hand. Having…
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Amar’e Stoudemire All 76 Dunks Full Highlights (2013-14 Season Dunkilation)
Pushing the call button next to his bed urgently, Amar’e Stoudemire waited for his live-in nurse to arrive next to his bed. In a few seconds, Sherie rushed in, looking concerned. “What is it, Amar’e?” “Take me to the hologram projector, Sherie. I have some stuff I need to watch.” Sherie rolled her eyes. “Oh,…
Read MoreKevin Durant All 146 Dunks Full Highlights (2013-14 MVP Season Dunkilation)
Kevin Durant, unhappy with the way his season had ended, was going to pay LeBron a visit. Not a pleasant visit it would be, for the guest that LeBron would be greeting was no longer fully human. Floating above the city of Miami, silent as a whisper, Kevin could go as fast or slow as…
Read MoreDirk Nowitzki All 145 Fadeaway Jumpers Full Highlights (2013-14 Season Dirkilation)
Dirk Nowitzki sat down at his desk, finally having made himself ready for this task of greatest import. Getting out the flamboyant feather pen that he kept around for occasions such as these, he looked at the blank parchment in front of him, wondering if he would know what to write. He had never been…
Read MoreCarrick Felix 10 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (4/16/2014)
Carrick Felix gazed up at the mountain before him. Its peak was crowned with snow, and a jagged, barely-visible path zigged and zagged its way to the very highest point. The mountain’s enormity was intimidating, but Carrick had been walking this path for a long time, and now was not the time to turn back….
Read MoreTimofey Mozgov 22 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (4/9/2014)
Timofey Mozgov sat in the locker room, browsing NBA headlines on his phone. If he was being honest with himself, he was looking for stuff like “Mozgov leads Nuggets to victory,” but there wasn’t anything of that sort. There was, however, a story about Jonas Valanciunas’ recent DUI charges. As Timofey read the story, he…
Read MoreBradley Beal 20 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/31/2014)
“It was so nice of you to invite me out for lunch, Marcin. You must have known how tiring it was to be stuck on the holodeck for seventy hours a day,” Bradley said, picking out a concentrated steak paste from the spaceship’s vending machine and inserting the proper number of plasmocredits. “Not a problem,…
Read MoreAmir Johnson 20 Points Full Highlights (3/12/2014)
Amir Johnson, cozy in his Snuggie, was again taking part in his favorite pastime: gauging the internet’s opinion of him. After watching an expertly-edited video entitled “Amir Johnson 22 Points Full Highlights (1/29/2014)”, he scrolled down to view the comments. He smiled as a fan of his had earnestly made a comment reading, “If his…
Read MoreHedo Turkoglu 12 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (2/24/2014)
Hedo Turkoglu sat on the edge of his bathtub, syringe in hand. “More ‘roids! I need more ‘roids!” he shouted, plunging the needle deep into an arm already marked with hundreds of needle-holes. “I will come back to the NBA stronger, better than ever!” Jose, Hedo’s supplier, looked on sadly. “Hey man, you might wanna…
Read MoreMarc Gasol 18 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (2/11/2014)
Marc Gasol sat restlessly in his living room, staring at his TV but not really watching. Instead, he listened closely to the sounds that his microwave was making in the adjacent kitchen. If he listened closely and tilted his head in just the right direction, he swore he could hear the sound of cheese bubbling….
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