“WHERE ARE MY COUPONS?” Boris Diaw, seated on Kawhi Leonard’s living room couch, shrugged his shoulders. “How would I know? They’re your coupons.” “They’re supposed to be right here in the coupon drawer,” Kawhi said in a panicked voice, riffling through the stack of coupons again. “I don’t know where they are. How are we…
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Andrew Wiggins All 84 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
Andrew and his older self walked across the dark lawn of the campus. Despite the rain shower, Andrew was concerned by the fact that they were walking so brazenly out in the open, in flagrant violation of the basketball camp’s curfew. Despite his concern, he kept his doubts to himself; he didn’t want to seem…
Read MoreDeAndre Jordan All 227 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
DeAndre Jordan relaxed on his sofa, wondering idly if his other Clippers teammates had started their off-season training regimens yet. Mindlessly spooning Golden Grahams into his mouth, DeAndre decided they probably hadn’t. Except for Chris Paul. His doorbell rang. Not expecting any visitors, he looked down to make sure he had put on pants this…
Read MoreLarry Nance Jr. All 53 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
Larry Nance scrolled through the contacts list on his phone, up and down, up and down, trying to figure out which one of his numerous acquaintances would be able to help him. The hazy, bright late-spring morning outside his window only caused his yearning to grow, and he impatiently chose a name at the bottom…
Read MoreBoban Marjanovic All 105 Field Goals Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Bucketilation)
King Marjanovic sat in his private chambers, located at the top of the highest tower of the castle. From this high-up vantage point, the king could look out each of the room’s four windows in turn and be able to see nearly the full extent of his kingdom. Now taking the opportunity to so look,…
Read MoreStephen Curry All 402 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2015-2016 Season Three-ilation Part III)
Stephen sat alone in his study, a few nearby candles providing the only illumination by which to read. A heavy rain poured outside the windows, but Stephen was oblivious to all but the arcane words in front of him. “…The success of the spell depends greatlie upon the cycle of the moone, and upon the…
Read MoreStephen Curry All 402 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2015-2016 Season Three-ilation Part II)
The campus of Oxford University was quiet. In the chilly early-morning air, the only disturbance was the nearly inaudible rustling of Stephen’s clothes as he attempted to find a way into the history building. Stephen squinted up at the rows of windows. One of them had to be left open, somewhere; given the temperature in…
Read MoreStephen Curry All 402 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2015-2016 Season Three-ilation Part I)
“Larry! Larry!” Stephen Curry yelled, running after the Indiana Pacers GM in an isolated hallway of the Pacers’ arena. “Wait up!” But Larry Bird not wait up. Instead, Larry quickly turned left into what appeared to be an even more disused corridor. Stephen sped up, continuing to call the basketball legend’s name. He suspected that…
Read MoreMatt Barnes 24 Points Full Highlights (4/9/2016)
Matt Barnes burst through the door of his own house, seething with rage. “Where’s that asshole? Where’s that asshole?” he bellowed, running from room to room. In the guest bedroom, he caught sight of the backyard outside the window. There were people gathered there, and when Matt picked out the face of his enemy, his…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo 27 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (4/8/2016)
John Henson paused his video game and looked up at his friend, who had just re-entered the apartment. “Ladies’ man Giannis is back!” Giannis set his empty smoothie bottles on the kitchen counter. “I’m back,” he confirmed. “So. Did you bang her?” Giannis shook his head. “I wish you not say crass thing about Rachel.”…
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