Tag: Buddy Hield

The sirens were getting louder and I knew that we had to get out of that zoo parking lot before we were found there. I turned that van and started driving towards the exit, taking care to avoid the mutilated bodies that littered the pavement, but it then occurred to me that, by leaving via…

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I was standing there in the middle of the zoo parking lot, surrounded by five men who were equipped with various types of firearms. I couldn’t see them very clearly; it was still nighttime and the parking lot was poorly lit. About fifty feet away I could see the moving van that would have been…

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Me and my 12-foot-tall purple 3D-printed naked plastic statue of Buddy Hield just stood there in the trees by the zoo parking lot as we heard the man give directions to several other men on how to bury whatever it was they were burying. “Can’t you assholes dig faster?” asked the voice in an annoyed…

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I don’t know how long we were there playing with the goats at the zoo. A long time. My 3D-printed 12-foot-tall naked purple plastic statue of Buddy Hield just never gets tired of being around cute animals, especially cute goats who are full of energy and always begging for more treats. And the bag of…

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When we got into the zoo, I reminded my 12-foot-tall 3D-printed purple plastic sentient naked statue of Buddy Hield that we had to be really, really careful. I told him that the people who run the zoo don’t like it if people come in after it’s closed for the night, even if they don’t intend…

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So today I went out to the local U-Haul and rented a moving truck for the day. The girl at the counter asked me what I was using it for and I didn’t want to tell her the truth (which would have taken a long time to tell, plus she wouldn’t even believe it) so…

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My twelve-foot-tall purple plastic 3D-printed naked statue of Buddy Hield, as I’ve mentioned previously, has really been into goats lately. The better part of the last month, he’s occupied his days by using my laptop to watch videos of goats on YouTube. So I started making plans to take him to the zoo in the…

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Ever since our ill-fated, but ultimately successful, trip to the zoo, my 12-foot-tall purple 3D-printed naked plastic statue of Buddy Hield has been really obsessed with goats. Most of his days are spent streaming YouTube videos of goats from my laptop onto the big-screen TV in my living room. I don’t even know how to…

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When Halloween night came around, I was trying to decide what I wanted to do with my 12-foot-tall naked 3D-printed purple statue of Buddy Hield. My first inclination was to have him hide in the kitchen or something so that none of the trick-or-treaters would see him and call the police and have him taken…

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