JaVale McGee stepped out of the taxi and, after collecting his luggage from the trunk, gave the driver a sizable tip. In one of the carriers, a trio of restless penguins stared out at the unfamiliar surroundings with distrust, then back to JaVale, as if demanding an answer to their silent question, “where are we?”….
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JaVale McGee All 201 Dunks Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Dunkilation)
The pleasant sounds of an oboe concerto, played at a reasonable volume, wafted through the high-end sound system of the small, yet luxurious, apartment. The residence’s sole occupant, seated in a leather armchair by the window, occasionally looked up from his Kindle when a particularly inventive harmony graced his ears, before returning to his book…
Read MoreKenneth Faried All 96 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
“Yo Kenneth. We’re supposed to be having fun here, but you’re just sitting there looking at your phone while all the ladies in the club walk right by you,” Mike Miller scolded through a mouthful of food. “Wait. You still thinking about that old teammate of yours?” “He’s not just an ‘old teammate’,” Kenneth Faried…
Read MoreJaVale McGee All 49 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
The two tall men embraced in the terminal of Dallas/Fort Worth airport. The taller of the two was dressed in a baby blue tank top, extra-small green running shorts, a pink feather boa, and a top hat. The shorter was dressed in the same purple suit that he had been wearing when they had said…
Read MoreKenneth Faried 24 Points Full Highlights (3/13/2015)
Two men embraced next to gate B33 at the Denver International Airport. The taller one, dressed in a sombre black dress, had his mourning-veil adorned head in the other’s shoulder, sobbing heavily. The other man, wearing a bright purple suit with shoes to match, patted the crying man on the back tenderly. “There, there, Java…
Read MoreKenneth Faried 26 Points Full Highlights (1/20/2015)
Kenneth Faried slaved away at the stovetop as Brahms’ piano concerto #2 in B-flat major played in the background. A loaf of the finest artisan sourdough lay on the counter next to a quantity of 20-year aged cheddar, both waiting to be consumed in the form of grilled cheese sandwiches. Suddenly, he heard the sound…
Read MoreJ.J. Hickson 16 Points Full Highlights (1/5/2015)
“Rosina’s cavatina was simply spectacular. Easily the best I’ve heard in all my years attending operas,” JaVale McGee was saying animatedly. Kenneth Faried nodded eagerly. “The transposition up to F Major was a stroke of genius, really. The cadenza took my breath away with those impossibly high notes. And the actor who did Bartolo, he…
Read MoreJaVale McGee 14 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (11/21/2014)
“JaVale, could you please put some clothes on?” asked a visibly annoyed Wilson Chandler. “Ain’t nobody want to see that stuff.” JaVale McGee made no move to clothe himself. “Some of us are comfortable with our bodies, Wilson. We all see each other naked in the shower, and as a man of maturity, it neither…
Read MoreJaVale Mcgee 16 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (11/3/2014)
The early morning sun shone through the portrait windows, heating the room though the light layer of frost on the trees outside betrayed the true coldness of the dawn. JaVale McGee relaxed in his divan, sipping some imported Kopi Luwak, and retorted. “I know that, Kenneth, but I really think that the best thing to…
Read MoreJaVale McGee 8 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (11/1/2014)
JaVale McGee, clad scantily in a leopard-print speedo, relaxed in his outdoor hot tub. The contrast between the cool mountain air on his chest and the warm bubble-jets on his legs was sublime, much like the pairing of a medium-bodied Tuscan Chianti and rich dark chocolates from Paris which floated on a tray in front…
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