It has been brought to my attention that Monte “Monte’s Inferno” Morris has an astounding assist-to-turnover ratio, so I went and check it out. Indeed, the numbers are astounding for a second-year player who played just 25 total minutes in his first year: forty assists to five turnovers. Using advanced calculus and other, even more…
Read MoreTag: Denver Nuggets
Nikola Jokic 37 Points/21 Rebounds Full Highlights (11/9/2018)
Two two-point losses in a row for the Nuggets. Sad! Everyone knows what happened in the first one by now: Nikola Jokic took 25 minutes of gametime to shoot one (1) shot. I don’t know what he was trying to prove with that, maybe he was just screwing with us, because in this one, he…
Read MoreJamal Murray Career High 48 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2018)
Monte Morris nudged Jamal Murray, grinning. “Yo, Jamal, those chicks over there are totally checking you out. I think they know you just scored 48, man. And they look like the kind of chicks who would double up on a dude like you.” Murray rearranged himself in his newly-constructed fort. “Nah man, I think they’re…
Read MoreNikola Jokic 7 Points/16 Assists Full Highlights (11/3/2018)
16 is the most assists by any player this year, in case you were wondering why I made a video where the player (Nikola Jokic) only scored 7 points. Two players have had 15. Can you guess them? Guessing actually shouldn’t be part of it. You should KNOW this. I shouldn’t have to tell you….
Read MoreJuan Hernangomez 23 Points Full Highlights (11/1/2018)
Last year was not a good year for Juan Hernangomez. I don’t know what happened, but Michael Malone decided that he wasn’t going to play, so he didn’t play. He was inactive for huge chunks of the season. The most telling stat the illustrated his not-goodness: he appeared in part 4 (of 4) of my…
Read MoreNikola Jokic 22 Points/9 Assists/3 Blocks Full Highlights (10/31/2018)
This is the second game in a row Nikola Jokic has been one statistical unit short of a triple-double. At least this means he’s not a stat-padder. He was a rebound short last time, and you absolutely know that if he wanted to grab a rebound, he would grab a rebuond. Assists are iffier but,…
Read MoreJamal Murray 23 Points Full Highlights (10/29/2018)
Jamal Murray needs to be taking/making way more three than he is right now. Only 10 in the first 6 games? I wasn’t calling this guy Maple Curry for no reason. There was a reason, and that reason was that he is the Canadian version of Stephen Curry. He can shoot it from anywhere, and…
Read MoreNikola Jokic 24 Points Full Highlights (10/25/2018)
Sometimes I wonder if Nikola Jokic is as enamored with pre-packaged microwaveable frozen foods as I am. He definitely has the outward appearances of somebody who would be a connoisseur of Hot Pockets, Totino’s Pizza Rolls, TGI Friday’s Mozzarella Sticks, and other delicacies of that nature. I mean, we already know that, as a teenager,…
Read MoreMonte Morris 20 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (10/25/2018)
OFFICIAL NBA MORRISES POWER RANKINGS [RANKED ON HOW MUCH I LIKE THEM] 1. Monte Morris. Here’s a guy that barely played in his rookie season (he appeared in a grand total of three games) – now he’s getting 20 MPG as the primary backup PG for the Nuggets. How can you not like that? Twenty…
Read MoreGary Harris 28 Points Full Highlights (10/21/2018)
Who is this third dude that the Nuggets added to the commentary crew? I don’t know if I like him or not, I haven’t had enough time to judge, but don’t the suits in charge realize that three-person boxes never ever work? Ever? I swear Chris Marlowe sounds half-angry every time he’s finally allowed to…
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