https://youtu.be/xRuKiYgq2Ww “Dear Diary, Today before the game Coach Malone said we have to be locked in and play hard. When he said locked in I got really scared that he would lock me in a closet since sometimes that’s what Daddy would do to me when I was being a bad boy. I tried really…
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Austin Rivers 25 Points Full Highlights (5/5/2021)
https://youtu.be/gyjtWadVQa8 “Dear Diary, Being an NBA player is hard and scary. Playing basketball is the easy part, but I don’t get why teams always trade me. I told Dad that teams shouldn’t trade me because I’m good at basketball, but he said Austin sometimes teams have to make trades to improve their cap situation. I…
Read MoreMalik Monk Career High 36 Points/9 Threes Full Highlights (2/1/2021)
https://youtu.be/KVa7bcscj0U “Dear Diary, My life has becoming a waking nightmare. Every time my situation deteriorates further, I hope against hope that soon I will wake up from this torment, to find it nought but a dream, but alas, there is no such respite. This is a nightmare from which escape is impossible. Every minute of…
Read MoreAustin Rivers Career High 41 Points Full Highlights (8/9/2020)
“Dear Diary, When I found out that we would all be playing basketball in Orlando for a long time, without ever having to leave, I was really really excited. Orlando is my favorite place in the whole world because of the theme parks and fun rides and the Disney characters walking around everywhere! When I…
Read MoreDario Saric 16 Points Full Highlights (3/3/2020)
“Dear Diary, I wish Dario Saric had stayed injured forever. Every time my hand is forced and I have to give minutes to that loser, I get a splitting migraine. His mere existence fills me with pure, seething hatred. Why can’t Frank Kaminsky be the healthy one instead of Dario? Luckily, I still have enough…
Read MoreSekou Doumbouya 15 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (1/7/2020)
“Dear Diary, I can’t believe it. That rookie from France has had another good game. I tried so hard to destroy his confidence and prematurely end his career with my unfair treatment of him, but now, when I have no choice but to give him minutes, he plays like a ten-year veteran. I don’t even…
Read MoreDario Saric 22 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (2/5/2019)
“Dear Diary, When I moved into my new office after being chosen as the interim head coach of the Timberwolves, the first thing I did was clear out the desk of all the previous inhabitant’s files. But while clearing out Tom Thibodeau’s stuff, I couldn’t help but notice all the scrawled writings on the loose…
Read MoreDragan Bender 17 Points Full Highlights (1/24/2019)
“Dear Diary, I struggle to believe it, but the young Croatian, Bender, has played passibly well in three consecutive games. In discussions with my predecessors, all are in agreement that this is the longest streak of decent play that he has had in his tragic, unsuccessful career to this point. There is a shared astonishment…
Read MoreDragan Bender 12 Points Full Highlights (1/20/2019)
“Dear Diary, Today all my big men were injured. Well, it wasn’t quite all of them, but it might as well have been, because the only two I had available to play were Quincy Acy, a man who was hastily signed and seems to be enamored with his three-point shot, and Dragan Bender, who is…
Read MoreDario Saric 18 Points Full Highlights (12/12/2018)
“Dear Diary, I hate Europe so god damn much. All of it. Even the so-called “good” parts like England and France. All of it sucks. I hate the people, I hate the culture, I hate the geography, I hate the style of basketball, I hate the basketball players, and I especially hate the most vile…
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