OFFICIAL THINGS THAT DESTROYED DONATAS MOTIEJUNAS’ CAREER POWER RANKINGS: 1. Contract impasse with Rockets that resulted in D-Mo becoming a free agent after turning down a $30 million offer 2. Pistons fabricating a failed physical because they got cold feet when they traded for D-Mo 3. Pelicans trading for DeMarcus Cousins 4. Too many donuts…
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Donatas Motiejunas 14 Points Full Highlights (1/23/2017)
If someone who pays more attention than I did to the whole Donatas Motiejunas situation could tell me who was screwing who, that would be great. Because I don’t really know. Was D-Mo screwing Houston? Was Houston screwing D-Mo? What about Brooklyn? Were they the screwer or the screwee? Did they get screwed by Houston…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 11 Points Pelicans Debut Full Highlights (1/7/2017)
If Donatas Motiejunas goes hard, goes hard starting right now and keeps going hard for the rest of the season, he might earn himself a “Post Move-ilation”. He’s been getting jerked around by teams and their doctors a whole bunch this season, but now all that is behind him. It’s been a long time, and…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 17 Points Full Highlights (3/18/2016)
I learned a long time ago that whenever I tweet at athletes, they never respond. You have to be another celebrity or sports person before they’ll even acknowledge your tweets. Either that or they have to have some kind of witty one-liner in response to you that totally wrecks you. Given that knowledge, I still…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 18 Points Full Highlights (3/14/2016)
Just going to temper expectations here: there will not be a Donatas Motiejunas post-move-ilation this year. It’s not going to happen. Motiejunas just has been way too injured and ineffective this year for it to be anything other than somewhat sad to watch, were it to be compiled. You’d watch it and be like “this…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 19 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2015)
I made a lot of sick highlight videos last year. A LOT. I also made some not-so-sick highlight videos, which have been now, appropriately, forgotten to the relentless march of time. Lost to all but the most ardent basketball historians, these videos will slowly decay into component bits and bytes, until, in hundreds of years,…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas All 150 Post Moves Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Post Move-ilation Part II)
The Schaub Memorial Orphanage was dark. Donatas walked the silent halls, halls which had been decorated by the children’s artwork. It was a much more modern place than the orphanage in Lithuania had been. There were just two children in each room, instead of twenty or thirty. There was no fireplace, and even if there…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas All 150 Post Moves Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Post Move-ilation Part I)
“I would now like to bring up to the podium Mr. Donatas Motiejunas, the new honorary director of the Schaub Memorial Orphanage!” To a rousing chorus of applause, Donatas sheepishly got up from his seat and walked up to the front. His dream was coming true. When he got to the podium and squinted through…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 21 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2015)
Now this is what I call a highlight video. No goofy intros, no free throws, no passing, no replays, no defensive plays, just 10 made Donatas Motiejunas field goals, presented without interruption. This is what highlights are all about. Buckets.
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (3/21/2015)
We should take a moment and be thankful for the confluence of events that has led to Donatas Motiejunas getting the amounts of minutes he has this year. If this were a normal, non-injury-riddled year for the Rockets, D-Mo would be languishing behind Dwight Howard, getting only relief minutes. T-Jones would be taking most of…
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