“Dear Mr. Ginobili, My name is DownToBuck and I make NBA highlight videos which get uploaded to the popular video-sharing website YouTube. This introduction is likely to be unnecessary; I know that you, like every other NBA player, are a man consumed by his own vanity, and you cannot resist the allure of watching your…
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Jeff Teague 23 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (10/30/2017)
When the masked intruder bursts in through my front door, I barely react. There is a part of me that was almost expecting this intrusion into my home. I am sitting at my kitchen table, enjoying a late breakfast of S’mores flavor Pop-Tarts, a just reward for having finished another productive day of highlight compilation….
Read MoreDarrun Hilliard 11 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2016)
I silently sneak past the guard station at the entrance to the NBA’s video archive. Inside the small structure the guard himself is a sleep, his helmet pulled over his eyes and his assault rifle dangling by its strap on the back of his chair. By doing deep packet sniffing on their unencrypted wireless communications,…
Read MoreJoe Harris 15 Points Full Highlights (11/29/2016)
“I finally did it,” I whisper into the serene silence of the room of my house where all my highlight mastery takes place. “All these years, toiling, slaving, it has all culminated in this one moment.” I close my eyes and savor the feeling of success, the feeling of ultimate triumph. My cat, Japurri Purrker,…
Read MoreDamjan Rudez 11 Points Full Highlights (11/16/2016)
The lowly grunt in the video room at the Amway Center was setting up a replay of the most recent made three-pointer. He didn’t know who had made the shot, or if it was important in the context of the game, but until something more exciting happened, replays of three-pointers were a good fallback option…
Read MoreRondae Hollis-Jefferson Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2016)
I sit in my high-quality leather office chair, perusing basketball-reference for possible highlight videos to create, each statline going into the appropriate category in my highly-organized mind: too good of a player, too many points, a player whom I dislike, etc. It is all an automatic process for me, for I am the mortal man…
Read MoreE’Twaun Moore 20 points Full Highlights (11/10/2016)
So I keep sending invoices to E’Twaun Moore for my “personal brand development consulting” fees, and he keeps on not paying them. So I’m going to put him on blast, right here, right now. Full blast. Mr. Moore, pay your damn invoices. I don’t think $250,000 is even that much, all things considered. I spent…
Read MoreJared Dudley 19 Points Full Highlights (11/9/2016)
“Dear DTB, I would greatly appreciate it if you could refrain from insulting my weight in your video descriptions this season. I know I have not had much on-court impact yet, but my recent nineteen-point game deserves respect, respect that is erased when you repeatedly demean me for my alleged fatness. I am not fat….
Read MoreLeBron James All 111 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
“You will make a season dunk compilation for LeBron James,” Adam Silver says, revealing the reason that he has invited me to his office. Even though I am unnerved by Adam’s stern expression, I am defiant. “No. It is beyond the scope of my channel. Do you not have the resources to make the video…
Read MoreZach LaVine All 49 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
My fingers fly across the keyboard, executing a wide array of well-timed keyboard shortcuts with my left hand while my right expertly manipulates the mouse, furiously clicking and dragging, shaping and composing. The process is almost automatic, yet evident in my quick actions is a kind of hidden artistry that could never be replicated by…
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