After enduring a long day of testing, DeAndre returned to his room. Of the innumerable solutions the aliens had concocted, none had improved his jumpshot or his ball-handling in any appreciable way. Moreover, they left his muscles sore and his head cloudy. It was so difficult to focus on the plans he had been making…
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DeAndre Jordan All 252 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation Part I)
DeAndre Jordan awoke in an unfamiliar room. His luxurious bedding at home had been replaced by a tough cot. Outside his window sailed endless pinpoints of light that could only be stars. Before he could do any more than register these facts, he was faced with what must have been some kind of alien. Surprised,…
Read MoreDeAndre Jordan All 245 Dunks Full Highlights (2013-14 Season Dunkilation)
“It’s been quiet around here lately,” commented Urgorx 77-Q, gazing out the expansive windows of the main deck with boredom. “Kronbub, are you sure that HQ hasn’t assigned as any more planets to initiate the sow/reap process on?” Kronbub 32-C, sitting at the controls of the spaceship, waved his anterior cilia to demonstrate similar levels…
Read MoreDeAndre Jordan 21 Points/15 Rebounds/6 Dunks Full Highlights (4/3/2014)
The crew were gathered in the main deck, eagerly awaiting the transmission to the holo-projector. Holoperator Urgorx 77-Q fiddled with the equipment. Kronbub 32-C, the pilot of the craft, vibrated his caudal membranes in a show of impatience. “I don’t get why the humans don’t adhere to their posted start times. The contest was supposed…
Read MoreDeAndre Jordan 14 Points/5 Dunks/8 Blocks Full Highlights (1/6/2014)
The spaceship coasted silently in a particularly empty region of the Virgo cluster, fresh off an excursion to Thaul-Ratos. “Those Ratosians sure don’t appreciate our efforts”, Porgon 18-F remarked as she tended the ionization wounds to her 4th and 5th ancillary appendages. Pilot Kronbub 32-C expressed his unconcern with a dismissal flap of his cranial…
Read MoreDeAndre Jordan 17 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (10/29/2013)
Descending quickly and silently through the Earth’s atmosphere, their craft landed stealthily in the darkness. It hardly mattered how stealthy there were, though, as the ship’s anti-humanoid cloaking device masked it entirely from the inhabitants of the planet. The first, albeit easiest, phase of their project was a success. “Now we just need to find…
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