Ben McLemore looked around at the basketball players who were gathered for the second round of the support group. It was a reunion of sorts; exactly a year ago, they had all been seated in a similar circle, in the same community center, in the same fluorescent-lit room. Just like last time, nobody really looked…
Read MoreTag: Dunkilation
Derrick Williams All 64 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)
Rudy Gay had given up hope long ago. Here, in Derrick Williams’ dungeon, there was no such thing as hope. There was only dubstep. Dubstep composed by the corrupted brain of the one who had adopted the moniker “Professor Dubbenstein”. There was no respite from the hellish noise which echoed throughout the underground chamber nor…
Read MoreNerlens Noel All 118 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)
“Bae, I thought you knew what you were doing!” whined Nerlens Noel’s girlfriend, Moniqua, who was lying naked next to a similarly-naked and similarly-frustrated Nerlens. “So did I,” he mumbled through gritted teeth. “But girls don’t come with instructions.” Moniqua sighed. “I told you bae, it goes down there right between my legs.” Nerlens ignored…
Read MoreAndre Drummond All 166 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)
Andre Drummond and Brandon Jennings relaxed on Brandon’s couch. Remote in hand, Andre flipped through TV channels listlessly, hoping to find something worth watching. “I told you, we should just watch ESPN,” Brandon complained. “Maybe they’ll talk about us.” Andre shook his head. “ESPN blows. I’m not the brightest guy but even I can tell…
Read MoreHassan Whiteside All 86 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)
It’s not like you need any more reasons to trust DTB’s opinions when it comes to basketball, but DTB has another one for you anyway: I was seriously hyped for Hassan Whiteside BEFORE he was signed by the Heat. Yep, that’s right. I knew that Whiteside would be a stud in the NBA if he…
Read MoreHarrison Barnes All 66 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)
“Yo, Iggy, you know how I was talking about getting a pet? Well, you won’t believe what I picked out,” Harrison said, smiling into his iPhone. “I don’t know, a chihuahua,” responded Andre Iguodala’s voice. “No dude, an iguana! And guess what his name was at the store?” “Uh, Scaly McLizard?” “Iggy! Just like you,…
Read MoreDeAndre Jordan All 252 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation Part II)
After enduring a long day of testing, DeAndre returned to his room. Of the innumerable solutions the aliens had concocted, none had improved his jumpshot or his ball-handling in any appreciable way. Moreover, they left his muscles sore and his head cloudy. It was so difficult to focus on the plans he had been making…
Read MoreDeAndre Jordan All 252 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation Part I)
DeAndre Jordan awoke in an unfamiliar room. His luxurious bedding at home had been replaced by a tough cot. Outside his window sailed endless pinpoints of light that could only be stars. Before he could do any more than register these facts, he was faced with what must have been some kind of alien. Surprised,…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo All 95 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)
(Jan. 20, 2014) Dear diary, Today my friend Ersan took me to the mall. There were malls in Greece too, but I never got to go. I never had the money to spend in them. Now that I have money, Ersan and I went just to hang out. I could have done that in Greece…
Read MoreZach LaVine All 39 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)
The worst thing about YouTube is that it discriminates against people who feel no emotions. And robots. If you fall into one of those two categories, DTB is going to do you a favor: I will provide emoji representations of the emotions you should be experiencing at certain crucial points in the video. That way,…
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