Tag: Lauri Markkanen

Lauri “Valkoinen Mammi” Markkanen hasn’t been doing as great lately. Someone once told me that’s what NBA rookies do, get in slumps, but I didn’t believe them then and I don’t believe them now. Slumps are a concept created by the powers that be to make player’s ridiculous contracts justifiable. If Markkanen’s stats are worse,…

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Apparently, after tonight, Lauri “Saippuakivikauppias” Markkanen has set the record for most made threes in the first 20 games of a career. Kind of an arbitrary cutoff, but I can find stats way more arbitrary, so it’s all good. I’m not going to tell you how many threes that is, because I want it to…

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Lauri “Pyhä Paska” Markkanen just composed his magnum opus, a stirring symphony of post-up fadeaways, three-pointers and layups. To this point, it is his finest work, but I would be not surprised at all, in fact I am expecting, that he surpass it at some point this season. The instrumentation and melodic lines fall a…

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Lauri “White Death” Markkanen had a decent outing tonight despite being surrounded by circus clowns masquerading as basketball players. There are lots of ways young players can prove they’re good, and one of those ways is by being good in the face of adversity. They can also prove the same by being good while on…

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The Bulls’ watchability goes way up if Lauri “Suomen Markka” Markkanen can do stuff like this on a nightly basis. Which he can, obviously, because we’ve now seen 6 games out of him and they all have been at least okay. Coming into the season, I was planning on watching exactly 0 Bulls games. That’s…

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The Bulls have finally dredged up enough competency from the murky depths of their being to win a game. Maybe I shouldn’t say “finally”, because it only took them four games to do it, which is way fewer than what I expected. I was thinking, you know, maybe post All-Star break before the scored more…

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Is there any NBA fan on earth who isn’t getting hyped for Lauri “Suomen Markka” Markkanen right now? Unless you’re living under a rock where no highlights reach you except for LeBron’s and Curry’s, I find it hard to believe that you couldn’t resist becoming at least a little hyped for what Markkanen is doing…

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How many times do you think Lauri “Mämmi” Markkanen has been compared to Kristaps Porzingis? I’m not just talking about on YouTube, or on the internet, but every single time, real or digital, that people have said about Markkanen “hey that dude kinda reminds of that Porzingis fellow on the Knicks”. Is it a thousand?…

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