By putting up a statline of 27/7/7, Justise Winslow officially got a “LeBron”, so named because a typical statline for prime LeBron would be 27 points, seven rebounds, and seven assists. The significance of this statline happening at the dawn of a new Heat season, five years after LeBron abandoned South Beach for North Beach…
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Tyler Herro 14 Points Heat Debut Full Highlights (10/23/2019)
I’m so hyped for Tyler Herro that his NBA debut could’ve been “2 Points/1 Assist/1 Fart” and I still would’ve made a video (at least a minute long, as promised) for it. Sometimes I try to maintain an air of impartiality, but now is not one of those times. I am hyped, straight up, for…
Read MoreKendrick Nunn 24 Points Heat Debut Full Highlights (10/23/2019)
This one should come as no surprise. In fact, the surprising part about this 24-point NBA debut by Kendrick Nunn is that he didn’t score MORE points. If you were in a state of willful obliviosity during the preseason (I don’t blame you; there’s a reason I don’t do preseason highlights), let me give you…
Read MoreDerrick Jones Jr. All 62 Dunks Full Highlights (2018-19 Season Dunkilation)
Derrick Jones sat on a bench near the Miami beachfront, feeling conspicuous. Wearing sunglasses and a baggy hoodie as a sort of half-hearted disguise, he told any passerby who recognized him that he was just in town for an AAU tournament. If it were up to him, he would be spending his Saturday afternoon either…
Read MoreDuncan Robinson 15 Points Full Highlights (4/10/2019)
Duncan “Dunkman” Robinson hasn’t played much for the Heat this season, but that didn’t stop him from collecting one of the most prestigious accolades in the entire NBA: the SBPFMINBAH award (pronounced “Subpuff Minbah”). If your little brain is too simple to parse complicated acronyms, SBPFMINBAH stands for “Second Best Player From Maine in NBA…
Read MoreUdonis Haslem 12 Points/1 Final Game? Full Highlights (4/10/2019)
Udonis Haslem has basically been a mascot for the past four seasons. Most of his time is spent sitting on the bench, and if he does get into games, he doesn’t do very much. Nor does he try to do very much. He exists solely because it feels good to keep him on the roster….
Read MoreDwyane Wade Triple Double 25 Pts/11 Rebs/10 Asts/1 Final Game Full Highlights (4/10/2019)
Dwyane Wade felt sand underneath his back and could hear the squawking sounds of gulls above him. Both of these things were strange for many reasons. One, he was supposed to be in Brooklyn, a place not known for its sandy beaches. Two, he could feel the individual grains on his back, even though he…
Read MoreDwyane Wade 30 Points/1 Dunk/1 Final Home Game Full Highlights (4/9/2019)
What a night for the NBA, and what a night for Dwyane Wade. If I was the conspiratorial type, I would sincerely believe that the NBA scripted this 30-burger for Wade in his final home game. Maybe by itself, you can believe it, but combined with Dirk Nowitzki’s 30-burger (also in his final home game)…
Read MoreJames Johnson 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (4/7/2019)
I was all set and ready to not make any more highlight videos from the unholy night of April 7th, where fourteen games were played. All my highlight-making software was closed and I was getting ready to settle in for a night of ignoring the NCAA championship game (is it over yet?) and playing Factorio…
Read MoreDwyane Wade 21 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (4/7/2019)
I still don’t quite believe that Dwyane Wade will be retiring at the end of the season. Given that this loss to the Raptors removes the Heat from playoff contention, Wade just has two more games left before he rides off into the sunset. That’s sad and all that, but I just have one question…
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