As of the writing of this description, an estimated 100 percent of NBA fans are currently watching LeBron James’ debut with the Lakers. Including me. Uploading highlight videos right now is like pissing into the wind. There is literally no one who wants to consume them. In a few hours, sure. But not now. So…
Read MoreTag: Miami Heat
Derrick Jones Career High 17 Points Full Highlights (10/18/2018)
Real talk incoming: I just don’t feel like the Heat’s best path to victory is by starting Derrick Jones Jr. at the power forward position. That’s real talk right there. For real. Unfiltered. In fact, starting Jones at all seems like kind of a stretch. He looked good in exhibition games, I guess, showing off…
Read MoreBam Adebayo All 91 Dunks Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Dunkilation)
Impatiently, Bam Adebayo checked on the status of his new YouTube channel for the sixth time that day. However, just as the fourth and fifth times he had checked, he had just two subscribers. Why? Why did nobody want to watch his hilarious pranking videos? Why hadn’t he gone viral yet? He was so far…
Read MoreWayne Ellington All 227 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Three-ilation Part II)
So one thing I found out recently is that you can go out with girls on dates but not be looking for long-term companionship while doing it. That was pretty much a revelation for me because, in the past, when I pursued girls, it was always with the intent to make them my GF. This…
Read MoreWayne Ellington All 227 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Three-ilation Part I)
[Ed. Note: This video is getting reuploaded because it got deleted, and the below description only makes sense in that context] My entire life was upended when I found out that I, for unknown reasons, couldn’t upload NBA highlight videos longer than ten minutes without them getting slapped worth a worldwide block and disappearing from…
Read MoreKelly Olynyk 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (4/24/2018)
Do you think, immediately after getting eliminated by the 76ers in five games, that Hassan Whiteside went back to the locker room and started decking people? Here’s the minutes breakdown from the series: Kelly Olynyk: 29 MPG Bam Adebayo: 15 MPG Hassan Whiteside: 15 MPG Faced with decreasing on-court minutes, Whiteside was no doubt overcome…
Read MoreJustise Winslow 19 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (4/19/2018)
The Miami Heat got a season-high’s worth of points from Justise Winslow in the first half and still lost. That’s 19 free, unexpected, no-strings-attached points, but with him scoring his usual zero in the second half, they ended up getting crushed. Winslow, for his part, contributed in other ways, like purposefully crushing Joel Embiid’s specially-constructed…
Read MoreJames Johnson 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (4/16/2018)
This is why everyone with half a brain considers James Johnson to be the same as LeBron James but a little worse at everything (except not being a wimpy flopper). This game right here. Not an outrageous statistical performance by any means, but he made his presence felt in all areas of the game, and…
Read MoreKelly Olynyk 26 Points Full Highlights (4/14/2018)
Look, I’m fully aware that Win Shares are a flawed advanced stat, don’t take everything into account, suck, yada yada yada. But here’s the deal: Kelly Olynyk led the Heat in them this year. Okay? That means something. That has to mean something. And what I think it has to mean is that he is…
Read MoreWayne Ellington Career High 32 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (4/11/2018)
In case you didn’t notice the Heat commentators bringing it up every chance they got for the last few weeks, Wayne Ellington was in contention to break Miami’s single-season record for threes made. Don’t worry if you don’t really remember that Damon Jones was the record holder. That guy was, like, the king of journeymen….
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