New Orleans Pelicans – Page 37

Ryan Anderson 30 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (12/12/2014)

Ryan Anderson considered New Orleans his second home. It wasn’t as good as California, the ladies, perhaps, not as voluptuous, but very nice nonetheless. There was just something about the vibe, the culture, that made him feel as if he was stranded in an exotic land of poboys and jazzbos. He looked up at the…

Omer Asik 16 Points Full Highlights (12/9/2014)

I have a question for all you Pelicans fans out there: Do you happen to know which esteemed brand is the official water of the Pelicans? What do you mean you don’t know? This is an important thing to be aware of. How are you supposed to make informed decisions about water consumption if you…

Luke Babbitt 12 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (12/6/2014)

This always happens to me. Somebody starts getting hot at the beginning of the first quarter, and I start imagining how awesome the highlight video will be when they carry that hot performance through all four quarters. Babbitt had nine points in the first five minutes, paving the way for his first-ever 50-point game. Then…

Ryan Anderson 23 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2014)

He jumped. Twelve floors was a long way to fall. Ryan Anderson cursed is hastiness. He was, after all, the one with the arm-mounted flamethrower. Incinerating a few cops in his condo would have fewer consequences than if this went wrong. He hoped his intuitions were right. He pointed the flamethrower at the ground, hoping…

Ryan Anderson 20 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2014)

Ryan Anderson stared, dumbfounded, at the words stamped on the device attached to his arm. He checked, squinted, and checked again, but the letters did not change. “Smoothie King” He knew what he had to do. The all-consuming anger that he had felt while incinerating his teammates with his arm-wielded flamethrower had given way to…

Ryan Anderson 22 Points Full Highlights (11/18/2014)

Ryan Anderson ran. He had to get out of here. They would find the carnage he had created any time now, and they would know who had done it. He stumbled through the once-familiar practice facility, which had now become a maze of torment. Each corner brought the dread of confronting more of the Pelicans…

Luke Babbitt 12 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (11/14/2014)

Carefully sliding the comb through his hair, Luke Babbitt gazed intently into the locker-room mirror. It was imperative that he took good care of his hair, because… “Great game tonight, Luke,” said his hair, communicating directly with the speech-processing lobes of his brain. “Coach is going to give us more minutes for sure now.” “We…

Austin Rivers 17 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2014)

I feel a bit bad about this video. It contains all of Austin Rivers’ 17 points, yes. This isn’t like last time. It was supposed to be a little longer, though. Austin has a block recorded in the box score. I wanted to see him stuff a dunk back in Shabazz Muhammad’s face, and all…

Ryan Anderson 17 Points Full Highlights (11/12/2014)

Ryan Anderson, having just finished incinerating his teammate Anthony Davis, looked around at the destruction around him. The burned-out corpses of those he once called friends, those he once called mentors, littered the gym. “I am… the flamethrower?” Anderson’s voice contained none of the conviction that he had previously shown. The righteous anger that flooded…

Ryan Anderson 32 Points/8 Threes Full Highlights (11/10/2014)

Ryan Anderson was hard at work. He had always like to tinker with things, even before he discovered his proclivity for basketball. His landlord had complained when he built his underground workshop underneath the tony condo complex he lived in; a couple million dollars was enough to alleviate any concerns. The builders always asked him…