Portland Trailblazers – Page 29

Allen Crabbe 19 Points Full Highlights (12/21/2015)

Allen “Crabbey Patty” Crabbe is another one of those players who has that weird hairstyle that’s like a bleached mohawk or something. I’m not too terribly up-to-date with the latest in hairstyle trends so I apologize if there’s a name for it that I’m not aware of. All I know is that it sort of…

Al-Farouq Aminu 16 Points Full Highlights (12/20/2015)

“Hey, Al-Farouq! I could use some help from a big guy like you to move some boxes around in my office.” By now, Al-Farouq recognized GM Neil Olshey’s voice. He also knew that hearing Neil’s voice was usually a bad omen. But he couldn’t just turn down the invitation to help; such a request could…

C.J. McCollum 27 Points Full Highlights (12/18/2015)

OFFICIAL 2015 NBA JUMP-SHOOTERS BETTER THAN CJ MCCOLLUM POWER RANKINGS 1. Stephen Curry 2. Kyle Korver 3. Klay Thompson 4. Damian Lillard 5. ????????????? 6. James Harden or something Maybe I forgot a few names, so sue me. We’re talking about jump-shot making ability here, not just threes, nor “who can jack up a bunch…

C.J. McCollum 26 Points Full Highlights (12/11/2015)

Remember way back last year, when Ray McCallum was outperforming C.J. McCollum? Damn. How much things can change in a single offseason; Ray is now on a team that is so good that he doesn’t ever get to play, and C.J. is now on a team so bad that he has become a nightly offensive…

C.J. McCollum 24 Points Full Highlights (12/8/2015)

C.J. McCollum has earned the coveted NBA role of “guy who gets to shoot it whenever he wants, no questions asked”. Most players, it takes years of effort, and years of decent production to achieve this. C.J. laughs at these other players. All he had to do was show some flashes of promise at the…

Allen Crabbe 18 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2015)

I have just come up with a great idea for Allen Crabbe that he can use to build up goodwill and popularity on his social media accounts like Twitter and Facebook and VK and Instachat or whatever that other one is called. Oh, and Vine. He could use it on Vine too. This will work…

Meyers Leonard 23 Points Full Highlights (12/1/2015)

Meyers Leonard heard the telltale chime his phone made when it received a text. This sound used to fill him with excitement as he would wonder which one of his friends wanted to hang out. However, in the past few weeks, this wonder had been ousted from his mind, only to be replaced by dread….

C.J. McCollum 28 Points Full Highlights (11/28/2015)

Looks like those Stephen Curry comparisons for C.J. McCollum coming out of college weren’t so wrong after all. Because, let’s be honest, they were looking pretty wrong for C.J.’s first two years in the league. The Juan Dixon (barf) comparisons were looking a little closer. Turns out that all Gollum needed was some minutes, perhaps…

C.J. McCollum 18 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2015)

C.J. McCollum has scored at least 15 points in every single one of his team’s games this season. Can anyone else besides Stephen Curry say that? (Editor’s note: add Westbrook, Harden, George, and Kawhi, come on DTB, what are you frickin’ doing? Use your brain you dip.) I was thinking the Most Improved Player was…

C.J. McCollum 19 Points Full Highlights (11/22/2015)

C.J. McCollum was interrupted from his Game of Thrones marathon by his phone ringing. He took a quick glance at the screen, planning to ignore the call, but when he saw that it was Blazers GM Neil Olshey, he reluctantly paused the show and answered the phone. “Hi Neil, what’s up?” Neil’s voice sounded breathless….