This performance was great, but, as they (“they” being “dudes who literally went to space and didn’t die”) say, “Houston, we have a problem”. That problem is that Robert Covington, despite having the BEST forehead wrinkles in the entire league (a comprehensive ranking of the forehead wrinkles of all NBA players will be made available…
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Robert Covington 18 Points/5 Steals/3 Blocks Full Highlights (8/31/2020)
Robert Covington played some defense this game. Normally, this wouldn’t be something I would take notice of, but you guys are in luck: he played the type of defense that showed up in the box-score and thus was able to be recognized by me. There’s a very real chance that Covington played additional defense in…
Read MoreRobert Covington 22 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (8/29/2020)
Robert Covington did not have a good time of it in the regular season Bubble games. Much like this teammate Eric Gordon, who was a walking pair of butt cheeks for those extra eight seeding games, Covington spent most of his time on the court bricking threes. The numbers are staggeringly bad: 13 of 56…
Read MoreRobert Covington 25 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (3/7/2020)
Robert Covington was the first Rocket player to score any points in this game. Seven minutes after the opening tip, he hit a three-pointer to put the score at 3 to 20 in the Hornets’ favor. That seems extremely pathetic, and it is extremely pathetic, but who knows how long the scoreless spell would have…
Read MoreRobert Covington 20 Points Full Highlights (3/2/2020)
The NBA already has stats that are arbitrarily decided by scorekeepers. Assists are random as far as I can tell. Steals and blocks are also inconsistently tabulated across the league. Since these things are already in the boxscore, I see no reason to not include additional defensive stats in there as well. Things like “shots…
Read MoreRobert Covington 20 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (2/20/2020)
As the trade deadline approached, Robert “Processed Cheese” Covington was widely viewed as one of the major pieces that would be available to the highest bidder. Minnesota had no need for a 3-and-D role-player since they were in absolute free-fall at the time of the deadline; meanwhile, every single contender (EVERY SINGLE ONE) would be…
Read MoreRobert Covington 24 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2020)
Things were looking good for the Timberwolves in this game. They held an eighteen-point lead over the Kings at halftime, with Robert Covington contributing eighteen points of his own, meaning that even without Covington’s considerable contributions, the game still would have been tied at that point. The lead eventually extended to a maximum of 24…
Read MoreRobert Covington 22 Points Full Highlights (1/18/2020)
Robert Covington’s name has been popping up in trade rumors lately, and it’s easy to see why: every team has a need for three-point shooters, and every team has a need for defenders (except the Wizards); Covington is both. He’s as plug-and-play as they come. You put him on a team, give him a few…
Read MoreRobert Covington 20 Points Full Highlights (1/2/2020)
If you listen to the commentary of this video (and I don’t blame you if you leave it muted by default, since it is often insufferable), you’ll notice the Timberwolves commentary crew waxing romantic about Robert Covington, and how it’s great that he was somewhat of a focal point for the offense in this game….
Read MoreRobert Covington 19 Points Full Highlights (12/26/2019)
A lot of crazy stuff happened at the end of this game, some of it involving Robert Covington, some of it not involving Robert Covington, and neither team really looked like they wanted to win, but win the Timberwolves did. It had been a full month since their last victory, and it showed, because they…
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