There’s so much hype regarding other parts of the Sacramento Kings, and so much hype around other players drafted around him, that I feel like there’s not enough hype remaining for Marvin “Marvelous Bags” Bagley. For a while, that was fine, because he wasn’t playing particularly well, and not in a way that deserved much…
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Buddy Hield 34 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (2/2/2019)
A week ago, my whole computational situation changed drastically for the better. Buddy, who is a 12-foot-tall 3D-printed purple plastic naked statue of Buddy Hield who has somehow had life breathed into his plasticky body, fashioned a new graphics card for my computer out of spare circuitry I had lying around. This thing chews up…
Read MoreMarvin Bagley 17 Points Full Highlights (1/30/2019)
Imagine my surprise when I pulled up this game to find that the legendary Kings commentator Jerry Reynolds had come back for a game. Kings games just sound better with that old guy saying his old-guy catchphrases and describing slam dunks in the corniest way possible. Doug Christie brings a different flavor to the broadcasts…
Read MoreHarry Giles 20 Points Full Highlights (1/30/2019)
Harry Giles sat at the head of the long table, around which were seated the rest of the Kings players. The wait staff at the Olive Garden had gone througgh considerable lengths to ensure that the entire team could sit at one table, but this had resulted in one very boisterous and noisy group of…
Read MoreDe’Aaron Fox 22 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2019)
Before we get started on talking about De’Aaron Fox, I just want to say, I’m super DUPER excited to see Bruno Caboclo back in the league and chucking shots that he can’t really make at an incredible rate. I was hoping for a sweet revenge game on the team that discarded him last year (that…
Read MoreNemanja Bjelica 17 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (1/25/2019)
Nemanja Bjelica allegedly suffered from “back tightness”, which prevented him from playing in the Kings’ game against the Raptors three days ago. But how sure are we that “back tightness” was the real reason he was held out? “Back tightness” sounds like something you would make up so that people don’t get suspicious when they…
Read MoreBuddy Hield 26 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2019)
There are both upsides and downsides to living with a sentient twelve-foot-tall 3D-printed naked purple plastic figurine of Buddy Hield that you ordered online for $3,000 but must have entered the wrong dimensions for on the order form. The upside is that you have a friend who understands you and is always loyal and will,…
Read MoreBogdan Bogdanovic 16 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (1/22/2019)
Unlike certain other Serbians who play in the NBA, Bogdan Bogdanovic is not a triple-double machine. He has all the skills for it, but usually doesn’t have the raw volume necessary to make it happen. He is also not played as the primary ball-handler enough to get himself into double-digit assists, something that he’s only…
Read MoreMarvin Bagley 22 Points Full Highlights (1/22/2019)
You know what? If Marvin Bagley were to ever open up a restaurant or deli called “Bagley’s Bagelly Bagels”, I would patronize the ever-loving FRICK out of it. We’re talking a daily customer from day one here, provided the deli was opened in my local area and not somewhere dumb like Sacramento. I would eat…
Read MoreBogdan Bogdanovic 22 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (1/21/2019)
It’s easy to forget since he’s only in his second year in the league, but Bogdan Bogdanovic is already 26 years old. For reference, that means he’s 6 years older than Luka Doncic. And he’s a full decade (plus change) older than Giannis. You know Zion Williamson, that studmuffin who is going to be in…
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