That’s right losers. TWO Davis Bertans highlights IN A ROW. Has Kristaps Porzingis ever received such a distinction? I think not. I KNOW not. Bertans has improved on the measly 1 dunk he converted last game, jamming it two times as hard as he could. When considered that way, this video is the equivalent of…
Read MoreTag: San Antonio Spurs
Davis Bertans 11 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (11/23/2016)
I have to apologize to all my subscribers. Specifically to my European subscribers who are all bros even though they never stop arguing about nationalistic topics in my comments sections. Even more specifically to my Latvian bros who have supported me from day one. I apologize to all of you. I should have made Davis…
Read MoreNicolas Laprovittola 11 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/5/2016)
Nicolas Laprovittola, his footfalls guided by a compulsion of unknown origin, stumbled through the marsh, each step more tiresome than the last. Greenish water, thick with muck, lay still under the cloudy sky. Drooping trees and tangled vines stymied his every effort to navigate to… somewhere. The end goal of this journey was a mystery….
Read MorePatty Mills 18 Points Full Highlights (10/30/2016)
Patty Mills checked his reflection in the rear-view mirror one more time. Seeing that his blond wig had come slightly askew on the drive over, he adjusted it until it was perfectly in place. His lipstick had fared better, and was just as garishly red as it had been when he had applied it thirty…
Read MoreJonathon Simmons Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (10/25/2016)
When Jonathon Simmons was led, blindfolded, to a secret subterranean dungeon underneath the AT&T Center, he was fairly sure that he had been kidnapped by terrorists, even when the man leading him repeatedly stated that he was one of the assistant coaches. But then, the blindfold was taken off. In the dimness of the torchlit…
Read MoreKawhi Leonard All 64 Dunks Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Dunkilation)
“WHERE ARE MY COUPONS?” Boris Diaw, seated on Kawhi Leonard’s living room couch, shrugged his shoulders. “How would I know? They’re your coupons.” “They’re supposed to be right here in the coupon drawer,” Kawhi said in a panicked voice, riffling through the stack of coupons again. “I don’t know where they are. How are we…
Read MoreTim Duncan 19 Points/1 Final Game? Full Highlights (5/12/2016)
Tim Duncan awoke to find himself in an odd place populated only by a pervasive gray mist. He tentatively took a step forward and was relieved to find that he was standing on some kind of solid floor, even though he could see nothing below him but an extending void filled with the fog. He…
Read MoreBoban Marjanovic All 105 Field Goals Full Highlights (2015-16 Season Bucketilation)
King Marjanovic sat in his private chambers, located at the top of the highest tower of the castle. From this high-up vantage point, the king could look out each of the room’s four windows in turn and be able to see nearly the full extent of his kingdom. Now taking the opportunity to so look,…
Read MoreDanny Green 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (5/10/2016)
Let me know if this situation seems familiar: NBA player (Danny Green) plays well (over 40% from three) and is rewarded (10 million per) for his efforts by his team (San Antonio Spurs), but then promptly begins to suck (33% from three) because he got paid (fiat currency is a Ponzi scheme) and doesn’t need…
Read MoreDanny Green 18 Points Full Highlights (4/30/2016)
Was Danny Green just playing with us when he sucked at shooting threes for the entire season? He shot 33% during the regular season, which is a jarring departure from his customary 40-ish percent, then the playoffs come around and, bam, he’s shooting above fifty percent like it’s no big deal. Was it all a…
Read More