I sit at my computer desk, hungrily perusing the menus of various restaurants on GrubHub but knowing that all of them are out of my price range. The life of an NBA highlight maker is not an extravagant one, and to splurge on something other than Hot Pockets for dinner is a rare indulgence. Still,…
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Nemanja Bjelica All 125 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Three-ilation)
“I don’t know if this is a very good idea, Bogdan,” said Nemanja Bjelica, speaking in his native Serbian. “Shhhh! Don’t talk so loud!” Bogdan Bogdanovic hissed angrily. “Sorry,” Nemanja replied in a whisper. “I forgot for a second that if we get caught out here breaking quarantine, they’ll probably deport us. Wait, no, I…
Read MoreLeBron James All 75 Dunks Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Dunkilation)
There was a mysterious beeping coming from behind him and to his right. But it didn’t sound like his alarm clock. This beeping was much less melodious than the beeping that he woke up to every morning. LeBron opened his eyes to look. But when he saw his surroundings, all thoughts of his alarm dropped…
Read MoreMiles Bridges All 47 Dunks Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Dunkilation)
Look at these numbers. Just look at them: Miles Bridges 2018-19: 71 dunks. Miles Bridges 2019-20: 47 dunks. Those numbers are totally unacceptable for a young player who is supposed to be showing rapid improvement. As the provider of the finest dunk compilations (“dunkilations”) anywhere to be found in the Internetubes, I demand more dunkage…
Read MoreChris Paul All 203 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Jumperilation Part II)
The room’s small space was illuminated by three torches which obscured no details of the horrific sight before them: two human corpses that had decayed past the point of identification. One was a slightly overweight man whose most distinctive feature was a very large black beard. The maggots which had consumed the flesh of his…
Read MoreChris Paul All 203 Midrange Jumpers Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Jumperilation Part I)
“Where did you say we were again?” Shai Gilgeous-Alexander asked. “Romania,” Chris Paul answered. He didn’t blame his young teammate for being unable to distinguish the landscape of one Eastern European country from that of another. Even the impressive castle that loomed in front of them was not distinctly “Romanian” in any way. It looked…
Read MoreDamian Lillard All 226 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2019-20 Three-ilation Part II)
“This isn’t gonna work. At all.” J.J. Hickson was standing in front of the mirror in the locker room, alternating his gaze between his own reflection and the picture of LaMarcus Aldridge that was up on his phone. “Our faces are totally different. There’s no way that I trick Neil into thinking I’m LaMarcus.” “I…
Read MoreDamian Lillard All 226 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2019-20 Three-ilation Part I)
Damian Lillard sat, waiting, in one of the many conference rooms that could be found in the office building where the Blazers’ front office was located. He had a meeting scheduled with Neil Olshey, the Blazers’ general manager, and he wasn’t looking forward to it. His previous encounters with the executive had been…strange, to put…
Read MoreJaVale McGee All 109 Dunks Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Dunkilation)
JaVale McGee stepped out of the taxi and, after collecting his luggage from the trunk, gave the driver a sizable tip. In one of the carriers, a trio of restless penguins stared out at the unfamiliar surroundings with distrust, then back to JaVale, as if demanding an answer to their silent question, “where are we?”….
Read MoreMitchell Robinson All 183 Dunks Full Highlights (2019-20 Season Dunkilation)
Mitchell Robinson hesitantly approached the unmarked, but sturdy looking, door. He knew that behind that door waited the owner of the New York Knicks. Every previous trip he had made to this office had ended very strangely, and he had no reason to believe that this occasion would be any different. He had half a…
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