I’m sitting here in my highlight-making chair just having made Cory Joseph highlights. And I’m impressed by what I saw from this guy. Is there something wrong with me? It’s been so long since I felt emotions, since I was anything other than a zombie sleepwalking through life, present yet detached. Is this because I…
Read MoreTag: Toronto Raptors
DeMarre Carroll Career High 26 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2017)
DeMarre Carroll tied a career high in points tonight, a fact that went totally unmentioned by the Raptors commentators. I understand that enthusiasm wanes a little bit when your team is losing, but come on. You have to be professional about it. Instead of mentioning that Carroll had scored the highest amount of points that…
Read MoreNorman Powell 21 Points Full Highlights (12/20/2016)
We want Bru-no. Clap clap clapclapclap. We want Bru-no. Clap clap clapclapclap. We want Bru-no. Clap clap clapclapclap. BRU-NO! *pause* BRU-NO! *pause* BRU-NO! I agree with the Raptors fans in attendance tonight. More Bruno Caboclo! Norman Powell is actually a good player, which is lame and not fun to watch at all. I want a…
Read MoreCory Joseph 17 Points Full Highlights (12/16/2016)
While these highlights are titled “Cory Joseph 17 Points Full Highlights (12/16/2016)”, they could easily have the alternate title “Malcolm Delaney GETTING EXPOSED BY A CANADIAN MIDGET Full Highlights SICK!!! (12/16/2016)”. Both are equally accurate, because in the process of scoring 17 points, Cory Joseph manhandled Malcolm Delaney. It will take more than this semi-impressive…
Read MoreTerrence Ross 25 Points Full Highlights (12/12/2016)
I feel nothing but sadness for Terrence Ross’ missed windmill dunk. I’m sure there are many Bucks fans who feel a slight (or great) sense of satisfaction for his mishap, but I am not among them. No, I only mourn the loss of a likely candidate to be the top dunk in my upcoming “DTB’s…
Read MoreNorman Powell 20 Points Full Highglights (12/9/2016)
Norman Powell played a total of 18 minutes the last three games. That’s 6 minutes per game for those of you who can’t do maths. That’s not very many minutes. At all. You’re telling me, that in a 44 point win against the Hawks, Dwayne Casey couldn’t find more than 6 minutes for Normal Powenn?…
Read MorePascal Siakam 14 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2016)
Forget what I said about Dario Saric being the second-best rookie so far this season. I take that back. It isn’t the wrongest thing I’ve ever claimed in one of these godforsaken description boxes, but it was still wrong. You get one chance to guess who I REALLY think the second-best rookie is. One chance,…
Read MoreLucas Nogueira 13 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2016)
After this perfect five-for-five shooting display, Lucas Nogueira is now shooting 74% on the season as the primary backup center for the Northern Dinos. With a few more attempts, that will be approaching prime (Mavs-era) Brandan Wright territory, and we all know that “prime Brandan Wright” is what every skinny young big should be striving…
Read MoreNorman Powell 16 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/2/2016)
I’m so happy that Norman Powell got the start tonight for the Raptors. It’s great! My brain is producing so many happy chemicals. God. Absolutely ecstatic right now. Really really great. I can’t imagine being happier. Only one problem. There’s this guy on the Raptors, they drafted him a few years ago, and they’ve been…
Read MorePascal Siakam 11 Points Full Highlights (11/28/2016)
Here’s a fun fact for you fun fact enthusiasts out there (I know you get your rocks off on these depraved factoids): Pascal Siakam is currently leading all players in the underwhelming 2016 draft in terms of winshares. He’s got a grand total of .7 of them, edging out Jamal Murray who has only .6….
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