Everyone keeps saying that Otto Porter looks so much like Wilt Chamberlain that he could be his son, but does anyone else think he kinda looks like Rasheed Wallace too? No? Just me? Screw you guys. I think he looks like Sheed sort of. If he had a headband you wouldn’t be able to tell…
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Kelly Oubre 19 Points Full Highlights (2/25/2018)
Kelly Oubre walked up to John Wall in the locker room. “So, yeah, we’re totally playing better with you injured and sitting on the bench.” John looked at his teammate coldly. “Why you gotta be that way, man? I’m in here supporting you guys every day.” Looking up from the YouTube video that he was…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 17 Points Full Highlights (2/22/2018)
“LeBron! Hey LeBron! Wait up!” Kelly Oubre called out to the Cavaliers player who walking towards his team bus. LeBron stopped and turned around, looking confused as Kelly jogged up to him. “Man, it’s a good thing I caught you,” Kelly continued through pants. “I need your help with something.” LeBron checked the time on…
Read MoreTomas Satoransky 17 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (2/22/2018)
Wizards fans can claim all they want that their team is better with John Wall at the helm, but I know the truth and I’m going to share it with you right now: they aren’t. Boom. Truth bomb deployed. I don’t need to justify this fact, because everyone watching this vid is a diehard Tomas…
Read MoreIan Mahinmi 17 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (2/14/2018)
Big shout-out goes to Ian Mahinmi for raising his free-throw percentage to a blistering 73 percent after being a sub-60 percent shooter the last few years. Everyone talks about Andre Drummond transforming into a way better player because of his improved foul shooting, but no one is speaking the same way about Mahinmi. Neither are…
Read MoreTomas Satoransky 9 Points/11 Assists/3 Blocks Full Highlights (2/14/2018)
The Wizards have now won 7 out of the 9 games Tomas Satoransky has started since John Wall got injured. You cannot tell me that that is a coincidence. Or, you can, but I will laugh in your face because here’s the frickin’ dealio: Satoransky is better at playing winning basketball than Wall. Wall gets…
Read MoreTomas Satoransky Career High 25 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (2/10/2018)
Before we get out our pitchforks and crucify (yeah, I know crucifying usually happens with crosses but I bet it can be done with pitchforks) Bobby Portis for flagrant-2ing Tomas Satoransky near the end of this one, let me say that he got mostly ball on his block attempt. Satoransky landed horribly, but it wasn’t…
Read MoreTomas Satoransky 14 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (2/8/2018)
I just made a highlight video for Jakob Poeltl, who hails from Austria, and now I’m doing one for Tomas Satoransky out of Czechia (the Czech Republic if you’re not hip with the lingo). That’s cool. I love repping those countries who straddle the line between western Europe and Eastern europe. I did some research…
Read MoreOtto Porter 27 Points Full Highlights (2/8/2018)
Well, the Wizards totally blew that one. Good news is, it wasn’t really Otto Porter’s fault, unless you consider him disappearing a problem. Or, instead of “disappearing”, maybe it was more like “getting frozen out of the offense by chucker Beal”. If they had won this game, we could’ve continued with the whole “Wizards are…
Read MoreTomas Satoransky Career High 19 Points Full Highlights (2/3/2018)
In a previous description I forgave the people of the Czech Republic (or Czechia for you sticklers out there) for Jan Vesely, on account of how good Tomas Satoransky was doing. Satoransky is still doing good, but I hereby RETRACT my forgiveness. It was given in haste, without due consideration of the magnitude of Vesely’s…
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