We all know that John Wall magically makes Otto Porter by a mechanism enigmatically known as the “Martell Webster Effect”. No one knows how it works, the nation’s leading scientists have performed several rigorous experiments and come to no conclusions, all we know is that it works, and it means Porter is a beast whenever…
Read MoreTag: Washington Wizards
Tim Frazier 4 Points/14 Assists Full Highlights (1/27/2018)
Four points is the lowest amount of points that I have shown in a highlight video in recent memory. There’s, of course, the immortal “Luke Walton 2 Points/12 Assists” video I made once upon a time, but you know that one’s extremely old because Luke Walton was a player and not a coach. There’s also…
Read MoreMike Scott 19 Points Full HIghlights (1/27/2018)
On the continuum of revenge games, where the low end is “no revenge was exacted” and the high end is “the dude just dropped sixty points of pure spite on his former team”, Mike Scott’s nineteen points against the Hawks is a little bit below the midpoint. He probably should have scored more points than…
Read MoreMarkieff Morris 23 Points Full Highlights (1/27/2018)
Two good games in a row for Markieff Morris. 20 points last game, 23 points this game. A feat that he had accomplished numerous times in previous seasons, but was rare (nonexistent) this year. After tonight, I’m going to say that John Wall was the problem. I used to think Mike Scott was the problem;…
Read MoreMarkieff Morris 20 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2018)
Highlights of Markieff Morris scoring 20 should not be a thing, at least not on this channel, but here it is. His scoring is so far down this year that I have to take any chance I can get. What the heck is he doing barely averaging 10 per game? Is it because John Wall…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 26 Points Full Highlights (1/19/2018)
Driving slowly through a rough area of Washington DC, Kelly Oubre peered through the windshield at the passing street signs, struggling to discern them in the weak glow of the street lights. The place was supposed to be right past Jefferson Street, but it seemed like he should have gotten to it by now. Not…
Read MoreMike Scott 18 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)
Here’s the deal: expert NBA watchers will note the existence of certain “advanced” stats, which are like regular stats but extremely esoteric and nearly impossible to understand. One of these “advanced” stats is something called “effective field goal percentage”, which, as far as I can discern, bears a resemblance to regular field goal percentage (which…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 19 Points Full Highlights (1/15/2018)
Kelly Oubre walked through the front doors of Washington D.C.’s central public library and stopped to assess his surroundings. He had never been in this library before. As far as he could remember, he had never been in any kind of library before. He didn’t know where the books he was looking for would be…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 17 Points Full Highlights (1/13/2018)
John Wall arrived early to practice, thinking he would be the first one in the gym. His dreams of having an undisturbed warmup session where dashed, however, when he saw Kelly Oubre sitting cross-legged at center court, surrounded by yarn and knitting needles. “Do I even want to know?” John asked as he walked up…
Read MoreIan Mahinmi 17 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2018)
Ian Mahinmi is now in his 9th season in the NBA. That blows my mind. Part of the problem is I keep getting him combined with Kevin Seraphin, but the other part of the problem is that it seems like just yesterday that he was hitting that third-quarter buzzer-beating jumper for the Mavericks against the…
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