Dillon Brooks 13 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2017)

Dillon Brooks has screwed me up in two different ways. FIRST WAY HE SCREWED ME UP: I keep pronouncing Dillon as “Dill On” in my head even though it’s pronounced like Dylan (“Dill An”). SECOND WAY HE SCREWED ME UP: He scored nineteen in his NBA debut, throwing out of whack my proprietary algorithms for…

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Isaiah Taylor 14 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2017)

Is it fair to say that Isaiah Taylor is already a better player than Tyshawn Taylor ever was? For those of you who don’t remember, Tyshawn Taylor played two seasons for the Nets, 2012-13 and 2013-14. He averaged, like, three points per game and wasn’t very good so he just didn’t play in the league…

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Dewayne Dedmon 15 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2017)

The Hawks’ signing of Dewayne “Judge Dedd” Dedmon made very little sense to me when it happened and it still doesn’t make much sense to me. The Hawks are clearly tanking, so there’s not any point in having a solid, low-scoring, low-upside bigman on your team. What’s he gonna do? Instill a winning culture with…

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Jeff Teague 18 Points/12 Assists Full Highlights (11/5/2017)

There must be something wrong with the Minnesota commentators, because they went the entire game without saying anything like “Jeff Teague gives you something that Ricky didn’t,” or “That’s something Ricky Rubio could never really do.” Usually when Jeff Teague calmly walks up to the three-point line in transition and bombs a triple, one of…

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Luke Babbitt 17 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2017)

#babbersnation unite! The Hawks have found their Ersan Ilyasova replacement of the future, and his name is Luke Babbitt! The amount of confidence they are showing in him is astounding: “Hey you get the start tonight oh and why don’t you guard LeBron James while you play for all but seven minutes of the game?…

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Dennis Schröder 28 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (11/5/2017)

Dënniß ßchrööder kinda took over the game in the third quarter tonight. Derrick Rose couldn’t hold him at all, which is expected I guess. Jae Crowder couldn’t hold him either. No one could hold him. He was unholdable. The Rajon Rondo comparisons from earlier in his career should be pretty much invalidated by now. As…

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Tyreke Evans 26 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2017)

I was thinking while making this vid about how hyped I would be if it was Jawun Evans scoring these 26 points instead of Tyreke Evans. Based on what I know about me, which is a lot, I’m pretty sure I would be inconsolably hyped. I don’t even really know who Jawun Evans is but…

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Brandon Ingram 20 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2017)

This was a very Giannis-esque performance by Brandon Ingram; just charge in there with your ridiculously long strides and score layups until the figure out how to stop you. It’s a great strategy (except that layups are boring and jumpers are awesome), I’ve seen it work for the Bucks for years, and it worked for…

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Jusuf Nurkic 25 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2017)

Carmelo Anthony lingered outside the Blazers’ locker room after the game. He thought he heard a commotion inside, and he knew it wasn’t proper postgame etiquette to barge in unannounced, so he decided to wait until a player came out. After a few minutes of waiting, a frazzled-looking Jake Layman burst out. Carmelo moved quickly…

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Norman Powell 19 Points Full Highlights (11/5/2017)

These highlights aren’t really as good as I thought they’d be. That was what I was thinking throughout the whole process. Like, isn’t Norman Powell supposed to exciting and great and awesome? Raptors fans, those liars, led me to believe that he is a premiere young talent in the league. This video says otherwise. Yeah,…

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