Zach Randolph 20 Points Full Highlights (11/9/2017)

Zach “Black Michelin Man” Randolph on the Kings just doesn’t seem right. His round body doesn’t want to wear a purple jersey, and his perfectly spherical head is not suited to wearing a purple headband. I get that he’s only there to excrete savvy veteran wisdom from his wisdom-pores, but I can’t figure out why…

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Clint Capela 19 Points/5 Dunks/4 Blocks Full Highlights (11/9/2017)

“Clint, can you hurry up with whoever you’re texting, we’re all waiting to go celebrate,” said an annoyed P.J. Tucker as the rest of the Rockets team stood around waiting. “You can’t rush the creative process,” Clint said, not looking up from the screen of his phone where he was furiously tapping. “If it’s just…

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Emmanuel Mudiay 21 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/9/2017)

Emmanuel “Negative Rookie Win-Shares” Mudiay has bumped up the quality of his play in his third season now that a certain Jameer Nelson isn’t hanging around, stealing minutes and ruining Mudiay’s career. If the Nuggets are going to be good this year, there’s no choice but for Mudiay to step it up, because he’s either…

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Jeff Green 27 Points Full Highlights (11/9/2017)

The Cavaliers fanbase is quickly going to join the list of fanbases who wished that Jeff Green was just a little bit better. I don’t think this dude has reached expectations anywhere he’s been. Partially his fault, but also partially the fan’s fault, because they keep thinking he’s going to be good for them when…

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Robert Covington 24 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (11/9/2017)

I am disappointed to see that Robert Covington is only 32nd in the league in terms of threes attempted per minute. If you restrict that to actual players who play real minutes (RIP Alec Peters/Ryan Arcidiacono), he still comes in at only 15th. That’s not good enough. At 50 percent from deep on the year,…

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Ben Simmons 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (11/9/2017)

I’m glad to see that Ben Simmons is benefiting from what I call the “Giannis Effect”. Named after everyone’s favorite Greek, the Giannis Effect is when a certain player’s teammates shoot the ball as soon as they receive it from said player, in order to get that player more assists. I’m not denigrating the quality…

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Justin Jackson 19 Points Full Highlights (11/9/2017)

The amount of primo young talent on the Kings is freaking me out right now. And it’s not the tanking kind of young talent that the 76ers had a few years ago. Even their “DNP-too scrubby” prospects have potential or whatever. Except for Vince Carter. I don’t think he has any potential left anymore. Just…

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Jrue Holiday 34 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (11/9/2017)

One of the underrated storylines in the NBA here at the beginning of the year is that Justin Holiday is outscoring his way-better-at-basketball brother Jrue Holiday. Underrated as in I don’t think I’ve seen anyone mention it. They’ve mentioned that Jrue is kind of sucking and that Justin is kind of chucking, but they haven’t…

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