John Collins 18 Points Full Highlights (1/17/2018)

How do real-life Southerners feel about John Collins’ nickname of “John the Baptist”? On one hand, it’s a hella rad nickname because it references Collins’ proclivity for putting dudes on posters with his wiry, high-flying whamjams. One the other hand, it trivializes an important figure of Christianity, sort of an implicit “Christianity’s not that important so we can use this nickname without feeling bad about it”. As a Northerner who has only heard rumors about the deep religiosity of the deep south, I need Southerners to inform me: does the “John the Baptist” nickname piss anybody off? Would it piss more people off it people knew he had it? Or am I thinking too much about this? What if we called him John “Jesus Christ” Collins?

In case the nickname turns out to peeve the wrong people, I have created a backup nickname for Collins. It’s not as good as his current nickname but it could be pressed into service quickly if the current nickname is forced into disuse: “The Collinoscopy”. Colonoscopies are an important medical procedure, and John Collins is an important basketball player for the Hawks, so it pretty much works perfectly. I actually wouldn’t mind if my awesome new nickname actually supplants the current one.

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