Ersan Ilyasova AKA The Ersanator AKA Turk Dirk AKA Arsen Ilyasov the 30-year-old Uzbek has sucked very bad so far this year. The internet is flooded with angry fantasy owners who expected the ILL-man to continue his production from last year, but instead got a pasty blob of inability. He can no longer shoot or rebound, and since those were the only things he could do in the first place, that mean he can no longer do anything useful on the basketball court.
However, in last night’s game, Ilyasova scored 18 points (14 in the second half), contributing the key baskets needed to overcome a 27-point third-quarter deficit. Ilyasova grabbed the Bulls by their collective neck and choked them so hard that when he let go, they continued to choke all the way through the fourth quarter.